Zac Efron’s Mustache Officially Destroys His Growing Sex Appeal
Dammit it to hell Zac Efron. Just when I finished copyrighting my Zac Efron dildo that plays a beautiful medley of High School Musical songs when it's turned, you go and grow a To Catch a Predator mustache.
It's absolutely ridiculous. I seriously thought Zac could be the next Ryan Gosling. The less talented, but more sexually provocative Ryan Gosling.
In what messed up PR strategy playbook does it make sense to go from emerging sex symbol to potential sex predator so quickly? Not the one I read. And it's written by E.L James, the author of 50 Shades of Grey, so it's pretty accurate when it comes to positive PR moves based on sexually repressed women.
I'm not even sure how he can make up for this incredibly stupid mistake. Sure, he could walk around in his underwear on the balcony again. But I'm honestly not sure if that's enough.
I mean, first he needs to shave that thing off his face and then he needs to apologize. And then he has to do something so incredibly sexy that I can't even think of it right now.
Maybe parasail naked. Maybe not. Maybe add a K to the end of Zac. Maybe not.
I'm not sure. But he better think fast if he wants to remain in the running for “sexiest former Disney star” alive.