Welcome To Myrtle Manor: Making Out And Making Up And Selling Wieners

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Welcome to Myrtle Manor Amanda April 2013

While Don Draper and company got into their own dramatic shenanigans over on the season premiere of Mad Men, the Welcome to Myrtle Manor crew was all over the place over on TLC in Season 1, Episode 6. There were make-ups and make-out sessions and break-ups of sorts. I'm starting to need a flowchart to properly understand what's going on.

This latest episode took place during Bike Week. And you know what they say about Bike Week! They say something, I'm sure. I don't know what it is, though. Could you tell me? Landlady Becky's father Cecil decides this is a good time to take a vacation, and Becky decides that means she should get a vacation too. Because that makes total sense.

Let's go over what happened during this double vacay, starting with the possible, kind of, maybe so making-up between Jessica and Taylor. Jeana with a J has one rule in her trailer, and it's that Jessica can't see Taylor. But that's too bad, because Jessica's video games are at Taylor's, so she's gonna put on her sneakiest hoodie and head over there in the middle of the night. But she totally doesn't trust him, you guys. She still thinks he peed on her bed a thousand years ago, so she's sleeping in her car. But the land of video games is neutral ground. Because if you can't make up to play video games, how can you make up?

The trailer park is less than pleased with Jessica and Taylor's sort-of reconciliation. How dare they start talking while the mystery pee isn't even dry yet? At the community meeting, everyone argues about whether or not this personal relationship is the trailer park's business, and Becky's daughter Alyson, who's visiting from college, does not have time for this nonsense. She has homework to do! Based on the preview for next week's episode, Alyson is going to take over Myrtle Manor. I always thought it would be Bravo‘s Tabatha Coffey who would do that in a fun crossover episode, but I guess this is good, too.

Meanwhile, on the making out side of things, Jared and Chelsey's romance is heating up. When Jared gets into a motorcycle accident, Chelsey is the first person he calls, and she rushes to nurse him back to health. As I've learned from every movie ever, when a girl puts a bandage on a guy, it's true love.

Unfortunately there's trouble in paradise when Chelsey and Amanda head to the Rat Hole (Is that somehow related to Parks and Rec‘s Snake Hole Lounge?) to sell hot dogs and recite the painfully bad jingle they wrote with jingle-writer Bandit. And it's some of his best work, according to him, so that should tell you a lot about Bandit. Chelsey decides some booty shaking will sell more wieners, but Jared is not amused. This leads them to having a discussion about what kind of relationship they're in, and Jared decides to take Chelsey on a date to the Sky Wheel to make things official. Then Chelsey says she wants to take it slow and it's not official. But then it's kind of official again when they make out. So I don't know what's going on.

And that brings us to the break-up of sorts. It involves Becky, Bandit, and a lot of roaches and mildew. Bandit is furious at Myrtle Manor for allowing roaches to crawl across his sandwiches in the microwave (Even he appears confused by this statement), and he wants out. Becky isn't having it, so she plants herself outside his trailer demanding he pay the money he owes her. After a lot of arguing, Bandit claims he'll send her the check later. And of course Becky doesn't fall for that trick! She's not giving up without a fight! Oh, what's that? She does fall for it? Never mind.

And just like in all your favorite '90s movies, Cecil comes home from his vacation early to find that his daughter hasn't exactly handled things well. Except his daughter isn't a teenager. She's a grown woman. So obviously things need to change, and that means control of Myrtle Manor will go to a real teenager (or close to it) — Becky's daughter. So… that should be interesting.

Will Gus the bulldog submit to a DNA test next week as the urination investigation continues? We'll just have to wait and see.

(Image: TLC)