We Need to Talk About This Weirdo Who Keeps Winning Jeopardy!
Because deep down I'm about 75 years old, I watch Jeopardy! every day. I usually don't think much either way about most of the contestants, though of course there are a few in recent memory that seem to capture America's attention (sup, Ken Jennings?) but it's generally presumed most of them go back to their normal, anonymous lives with merely a great story to tell at parties and (hopefully) some extra cash in the bank.
But we need to talk about this guy that's on right now and keeps winning. His name is Matt Jackson and he's fucking TERRIFYING. No, I'm serious. I am having nightmares that he's going to jump through the TV and skin me alive and wear me as a mask.
He's only 23, and as of last night, has won an impressive 8 consecutive games and a total of $230,610. But every single day, I actually pray out loud that he'll lose.
I know, before you ask why I'm such a mean person, you need to understand. At the start of every episode, when he's introduced, he GLARES into the camera with this stone-faced look, and then slowly gives this creepy ass smile that makes me physically shudder every. single. time. Please watch this Vine video and see what I mean.
— Çhríß Čœłē (@UrbanSpaceman23) October 2, 2015
He's also incredibly arrogant, as if he knows no one can touch him. He answers questions so quickly and then cuts Alex Trebek off, to the point where Alex had to actually scold him. He's so abrasive that I genuinely feel sorry for the people who have to compete against him.
I'm just not okay with this guy, and I feel like he's going to eat someone's firstborn child. Hopefully not mine, please.