The Best And Worst Of Dexter: Everyone Wants An Argentina

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This week's episode of Dexter was packed with that poetic quality that Dexter does so well; there really should be an Emmy category for “best voiceover that ties various plots together,” and it should go to Michael C Hall every time. Like last week's, it was pretty gripping, but it still had its highs and lows.

Just a couple of serial killers, having breakfast the morning after like two normal people. +1 for the nice tableau.

“I always eat breakfast, it's important.” +5 for referencing the show's grotesque opening sequence, which has ruined breakfast for so many people.

WHY IS DEB SO TAN? -1 for being distracting.

“The cops are dicks but they're not morons.” Aren't they? -1

“Is that your plan to keep Deb from going to the dark side? Massive sugar rush?” Oh Harry, you're no good at being sassy. -1

“I'm not gonna stop seeing her just 'cause she's a murderer.” FUCK YOU, DAD. +1

“I think you'd be surprised the things you don't know about me.” -1 because Hannah should not be taunting the cops.

“You haven't even begun to be sorry.” -1 for Deb taking this conversation to a very Mean Girls place.

Holy shit, it's Astor and Cody! My, how you've grown! +1 for a good re-casting job Apparently the kids weren't re-cast, they just got older on their own. +1 for letting time do the work.

Why would Dexter kill the assassin sent to kill Sirko? I know he wants to do it himself but that seems counterproductive. -1

There are ladies walking around Batista‘s restaurant in thong bikini bottoms. -1 because how is that not against the health codes?

Of course Astor turned into an overachieving teen pot smoker. +1 because I think those need to be better represented on TV.

Dude, guys, her mom was murdered. If you try to keep her from smoking pot, you are even worse narcs than I thought. -1

Hannah's house is sooo Pottery Barn. +1 because a murderess would be into cute candleholders and such.

“So what's got you so busy?” OMG, everything Hannah says still sounds so slutty. +1 because they are still in the honeymoon period when you want to fuck all the time, I suppose.

“What's a booty call?” I don't believe you that you don't know what this commonly used phrase means, Dexter. -1

Aaaw, they're trading murder tips. How sweet! +2

“Bloody hell,” Sirko says. We are never going to find out why he's English, are we? -1

Is it just me or does the way Jamie bends over to get the sunscreen seem a bit gratuitous and long? -1

Of course Dexter is connecting with an angsty teen. +1

“Does Hannah fit into my family somewhere?” LOL no. -1

Once again, Deb is distractingly tan. -1

Aaaaand now Deb knows. “Being with Hannah is worse than being a killer?” “Yes! No!” Oh Deb. Make up your mind. -1

Is anyone else kind of annoyed when Jennifer Carpenter busts out the skills she acquired at the “gasp a lot school of acting like you're crying”? -1

“What do you mean you're in love with me?” Even Dexter knows this is a dumb plotline. +1

“You don't even know how she wants you to feel, ya just left.” Ew, is Harry really talking about this with Dexter? -1

Isaak Sirko is getting advice from Dexter about whether or not to kill Dexter. THAT IS SO NEXT LEVEL. +1

“Maybe the heart is just wrong.” Dexter knows his heart is wrong and he is right about this. +1

“The best we can hope for is to find a place we don't have to pretend.” Aw, being a serial killer is just like being a…gay serial killer. +1

“Under different circumstances we could have been great friends.” He said it again! That means he really means it! I am reeling from the tragic missed friendship opportunity. +3

Isaak outsmarts Dexter by saying his full name to the bartender. Tricky. +1

OMG Laguerta is closing in! +3 for successfully making me afraid for Dexter.