Video: Is Madison Bray The Next Rebecca Black?

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The man who brought us Rebecca Black and tried to bring us someone named Lexi St. George is back with a new aspiring pop star, and this time, she's only ten years old. Her name is Madison Bray, and she might be the most annoying product of Ark Music Factory yet.

What could be more annoying than Rebecca Black, you ask? Tons of stuff. You see, despite her musical faults, Rebecca Black has a certain sweetness to her. She seems like a nice kid. She's friendly and punctual, and she probably listens to her parents. This Madison Bray person just reminds me why I was never terribly into babysitting.

Songwriters Pato and Clarence Jay have forgone the random rap bridge for this song, instead opting to infuse the uber-suburban playground setting with a somewhat hip-hop/R&B-ish flavor. The oft-repeated word “swag,” for instance, comes from hip-hop and is used to mean a lot of things. Cool, sexy, tricked out, what have you. It's been around as a term for a while, but it really blew up when Odd Future began their depressingly predictable ascent to fame. I'm uncomfortable just mentioning the name “Odd Future” in a blog post about a ten-year-old girl, because their music is probably the least appropriate for children anything can get and still be legal.

Over the course of the video, Bray addresses haters who think she's only nine (she's ten, dammit!), exchanges tough looks with other kids on the playground (aw), practices her bitch face, and…did she just reference her Beamer? What is it with the Ark Music Factory and underage driving? The line “no more hating” could carry an anti-bullying message, but I get the feeling this kid spends her days passing mean notes and thinking up new ways to humiliate the nerdy fat girl.

Which is all to say…I think this video has serious viral potential. Who could resist clicking on a thing this loathsome?!