For Obvious Reasons, I Need Help Sneaking On To The Very Good Girls Set

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For the past few days Dakota Fanning and Elizabeth Olsen have been filming their movie Very Good Girls in Brooklyn. Naturally, I want to be on that set so I can spend time with them and convince them why they need a big-sister-like friend in their lives. Not just any big sister, but a role model — which is a word now synonymous with blog editor.

Because I don't think Mary-Katie and Ashley Olsen really cut it these days in terms of a sisterly role model. Unless of course, Elizabeth aspires to date another Sarkozy relative. Then yeah sure, she should Skype more often with Mary-Kate. And don't even get me started on Elle Fanning. One, she's younger. Two, refer to one.

So yes, it's fair and normal to say that Dakota and Lizzie need me in their lives. Especially because their movie's starting to resemble some kind of Now & Then homage. Which, knock three times on the ceiling if I'm wrong, is one of the best movies ever made. It finally pushed seances into the mainstream. That whole vibe just makes me want to be a friend/mentor to the girls more than ever.

And that's how I felt when I went to bed yesterday. That I needed to be on that set, for the sake of the girls.

But then I woke up and that need turned into a NEED. Why? Because Jake Gyllenhaal visited his mom, director and screenwriter Naomi Foner, on the set. Meaning that this is now the most enviable film set in America. Two up-and-coming actresses who are still not A-list enough to totally shaft me AND Jake Gyllenhaal. The Haaliest of the famous Gyllenhaals.

So yes, I need to sneak onto that film set ASAP. If anyone has a sixties-esque bike I could borrow, that would be great. I'll just pedal on in like an extra and I won't stop pedaling until the girls agree to get lunch with me. Every day.

(Photo:  Anthony Dixon/WENN.com and TNYF/WENN.com)