You Can Blame The Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Divorce On Scientology…Duh

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New details are coming out about the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce (hurray!), and in a revelation that's surprising to exactly no one, Scientology was apparently one of the main reasons behind the split. Tom has been actively involved with the religion for a long time, and while she put up with it for herself, Katie wasn't comfortable with their daughter Suri being raised within it. I have no doubt that there's going to be a huge custody battle, as Katie has already filed for sole custody in New York, where judges are more anti-Scientology than in LA, where Tom is expected to file. I'm assuming that Suri will retain herself as counsel and speak on her own behalf, because if she hasn't been going to law school these past six years, then what has she been doing with her time?

But seriously, it's definitely good that Katie's getting Suri out now, as things were apparently about to get extra weird for the little girl. Every member of Scientology has to endure routine ‘security checks' where they're scanned with an ‘e-meter' for bad energies and interrogated as to any crimes they might've committed. These security checks start for kids at age six, which is both how old Suri is, and also the average age of most murderers, so I'm frankly offended that they didn't start scanning her sooner. Former members of Scientology have spoken about how terrifying the interrogations are for kids, so I'm assuming that Katie just didn't want Suri to have to be subjected to that.

I'm sure that this divorce is gonna be a tough thing for their whole family, and I don't mean to be insensitive, but I honestly am so relieved that a. This sham of a marriage is finally over, and b. That this might finally be our chance to get some more of the ridiculous secret details of Scientology out into the world. I personally am on the edge of my seat.

(Image: usmagazine.com)