AshleyMadison.com Offers $1 Million To Anyone Who Can Prove They Took Tim Tebow’s Sexual Purity
Amoral cheater dating site Ashley Madison has issued a bounty on Tim Tebow‘s maidenhead: prove you slept with the evangelical Christian quarterback, and you get a cool one mil.
“Sports and sex (and of course, infidelity) go hand in hand,” said AM head Noel Biderman in a satement. “If Mr. Tebow is indeed abstaining from adult relationships, I would encourage him to find a nice lady or two and enjoy his youth and fame as much as possible. I guarantee that no man of Tebow's stature could survive a season in New York without succumbing to the temptations of the city.”
While I applaud Ashley Madison's efforts to show that human beings are depraved, crotch-driven creatures incapable of any type of sexual morality, it's a bit of a stretch to include “cheating” as a theme in this statement, since Tim Tebow is single and would not be cheating on anyone but Jesus. But that's nitpicking. What we have here is a golden offer that should no doubt bring all sorts of NYC temptresses out of the woodwork to try to sway Tebow from his path of righteousness, as well as a whole bunch of potentially real stories that will no doubt include lots of grainy iPhone videos to analyze. This is going to be fun!