I Don’t Even Know Where To Start With This Tilda Swinton Cover

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Tilda Swinton W Magazine cover May 2013 issue centipedesOh my goodness. Oh my good glory goodness. Rarely do I get such a pure kick of excitement and joy right to my belly as when I first saw Tilda Swinton‘s cover shoot for the May issue of W Magazine. Not because I'm a fashion buff — “oho no, my lads, frankly it's the opposite”, said the girl wearing a sweater poncho at her desk — but because I love silly things done for silly reasons. I have no doubt that this cover shoot was not done for a silly reason at all, and was in fact designed to be taken entirely seriously, but that life philosophy is no fun at all, so let's do it my way.

Startinnnnng NOW. Guys! She has centipedes! On her FACE! Where a mustache and eyebrows would be! But her face doesn't know it, and is instead still making a fashion face, which is amazing. This picture is already so funny to me that when I found it I stopped working, barked out a laugh, and said out loud to no one, “Ohmygod this is — you have to see this. I can't.” And that was before I read one of the quotes associated with the cover shoot, which goes a little something like this:

“Though they may look as if they were mechanically placed, we waited hours for these centipedes to crawl into their meaningful positions, decking me out with eyebrows and mustaches. ‘Ceci n’est pas une moustache,’ as Magritte might have put it.”

!!! Hours?! Did you say HOURS?!? Oh my god I hope that's not a joke or an exaggeration, purely so I can continue to imagine a team of stylists trying to gently coax a team of centipedes around Tilda Swinton's face. I need that to be a real way that someone spent their weekend. I honestly have no control over my emotions right now, I'm so filled with glee. She also has the following to say about beauty:

“Being beautiful was never really something I associated with people I knew – certainly not girls. Boys maybe. Horses, yes, and certainly my great-grandmother Elsie Swinton, whose imperial grandeur was like a watermark.”

HORSES. Beautiful beautiful horses, and her great-grandmother the watermark. You guys I really…I honestly just can't. Someone else take the rest of my posts for the day, because I need to go take a joy-nap and dream about this visiting alien.

(Image: W Magazine)