The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Melissa Gorga Was Definitely, Maybe A Stripper

By  | 

Last time we caught up with the ladies on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the women were going about their lives in peace (for the most part). We got a little taste of the past with a brief Dina Manzo appearance and we were left wondering what the heck was going to happen between the Manzo clan and the Giudices. The tension has been building for some time now and with part one of two part season finale last night underway, it looks like all of this is finally going to come to a head.

When the episode begins, we find Melissa Gorga on the phone with Kim D. (not to be confused with Kim G., who is the better of the two Kims) and she’s trying to apologize to Melissa for having a big mouth. Apparently, she was going around “spreading lies” about Joe Gorga’s job, trying to make his business look bad. She then invites Melissa to her annual fashion show. Wary of Kim D.’s motives, Melissa is indecisive about going.

It’s apparently Kim D. Day because she then shows up at the Giudice residence in the middle of the young girls’ Italian lesson, which is a whole other topic. Kim comes over to invite Teresa Giudice to her fashion show. These fashion shows usually end up in completely disaster (Staub Wounds, anyone?) The two women dish about Caroline Manzo while Caroline and the rest of the Manzo family get ready for a nice family bruch cooked by Lindsey, who we all know as Albie Manzo’s girlfriend. Caroline sits at the table and tries to drive the point home that the boys should be focusing on their careers rather than relationships. Caroline is pretty no nonsense when it comes to her children. I give Lindsey a lot of credit for entering that family, especially with a firecracker like Caroline leading the pack. Moms of boyfriends always terrify me, so Lindsey is good in my book for hanging in there.

Caroline and Jacqueline head to Posche, Kim D.’s store, to find some new clothes. Kim invites the two ladies to come and asks them where they would prefer to sit at the fashion show. This is seriously a recipe for disaster if all these women get seated at the same table. There is bound to be some sort of tension. Caroline doesn’t give a crap if Teresa is sitting at the same table as her because she isn’t going to give her the time of day. Jacqueline seems a bit more hesitant for all of the women to gather back together at the fashion show after the huge blow up in Napa, but that’s because Jacqueline knows she can’t pretend to be asleep if something goes awry like she did in Napa. I’m still not over that ridiculous avoiding tactic if you guys can’t tell.

As everyone is getting ready for the fashion show, Kim D. and Teresa get VIP treatment. She gets her hair and makeup done by this bald guy who claims that he knows Melissa Gorga. Do you guys want to know how he knows Melissa Gorga? He says that they go “way back” and that she worked at his gentleman’s club as a dancer. Any Housewives fan knows that there have rumors swirling that Melissa Gorga used to be a stripper, and this baldy seems to confirm those rumors. Teresa jumps in and says that she’s in a good place with her sister-in-law and feels uncomfortable that he is talking about her family. Wow, did Teresa just do something noble and moral? Did I just see a pig fly? Wow. The bald dude apologizes and leaves the room. She’s a little shaken and hopes that no drama comes from this dude at the fashion show.

But can we have a Posche fashion show without some drama? Hell no.

Everyone arrives at the fashion show dressed head to toe to glitter and sparkles. I can’t even deal with these women. Melissa does an amazing impression of Kim D., which is pretty spot on to how annoying she is. Jacqueline and Caroline arrive a little late and sit down at the huge booth along with the rest of the women. Everyone is being cordial and nice, but the underlying tension is pretty thick.

Shit hits the fan when Baldy comes up to the women’s booth and says hello to Melissa. He comes right up to their table and goes on about how it’s been so long since they’ve seen each other. Melissa looks like a deer in headlights—totally thrown off by this guy’s company. After he leaves, Melissa mumbles, “I don’t know where I know him from, but I know him.” Is Melissa playing it off like she doesn’t know who that guy is or is she seriously forgetting his face? Teresa kind of sits there awkwardly, trying to think of something to say. She then chimes in with, “My heart is beating 500 beats again,” referring back to the first time she hung out with Baldy. Baldy basically gives everyone the creeps. So the fashion show is off to a terrible start, and from the looks of next week’s preview, it’s only getting started.

Talk about a fashion faux-pas, am I right, people?

(Photo: Reality Aired)