The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Nose Jobs, Pole Dancing And Another Dinner From Hell

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Camille Grammar Yelling

When we last left The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the women were actually getting along in Vegas. Brandi Glanville had taken it upon herself to gather the women for a little getaway to Vegas. She wants to show these women who she really is, which I already know is a real, down to earth, cool chick, but these women (except for Lisa Vanderpump) are super jealous of her. Brandi coaxes the women into taking a pole dancing class, which is just plain ridiculous. Watching Yolanda Foster work her way around a stripper pole gave me second hand embarrassment. I watched this episode with my boyfriend, who obviously enjoyed this scene, but even he said that Yolanda wasn’t his idea of a good time.

Why do I hate Yolanda so much? She is just 100 kinds of boring. I’m still waiting for her inner bitch housewife to come out and then she can prove me wrong.

Anyway, Kim Richards calls Kyle Richards while she’s in Vegas and announces her very private news that she wants to get a nose job. Her very private news that Kyle blasts on speakerphone so that every woman in the limo can hear her fears and reservations about getting a nose job. Kyle is a bit hurt by the fact that Kim didn’t run the idea by her earlier than right before she goes under the knife. Concerns arise around the idea of Kim being put under an anesthetic and whether or not she would be on painkillers. How would this affect her sobriety? Would she have to do it cold turkey? These are major concerns that, like Yolanda (Wow, am I agreeing with her?) said, should not be taken lightly. I have always rooted for Kim and her progress. I mean she already got the nose job since this episode aired anway, and I hope homegirl is doing okay!

Back in Vegas, all the girls get ready for a fancy dinner which I’m sure will go super well because these women have a super good track record when it comes to dinners and getting along….sarcasm.  Before dinner, they all get super drunk on tequila and wine and anything else that’s lying around. At dinner, they get on the topic of Kim’s nose job again, and Kyle tries to defend her wacky sister. Jennifer Gimenez, a former employee of Dr. Drew an Brandi’s good friend, weighs in the subject being an addiction specialist and a former addict. She tells Kyle that this surgery may “wake up the beast” in her, which obviously scares Kyle.

The subject politely changes to Adrienne Maloof, and Brandi’s hatred for her. They get down to the nitty-gritty about how Adrienne called Brandi about “going after Lisa” about the tabloid allegations. Lisa then brings up the fact that Camille Grammar knew that some of the housewives were going to go after Lisa, which Camille denies. She then gets super defensive about that fact that Brandi and Lisa are accusing her of knowing about “the attack on Lisa” and not doing anything. Camille then says some sassy remark about lying and then leaves the dinner table, but quickly comes back for more.

Brandi then drops the bomb that “everyone knows, but no one talks about” that Adrienne only owns 4% of the Palms Hotel in Vegas. Is this true? What does it even matter? She still owns some of it. Then Kyle gets into it with Lisa, Brandi, Camille and Yolanda about who owns this and who owns that and who is lying and who isn’t. Then Camille accuses Lisa of not owning her restaurant, Sur, which has become famous now on her new TV show, Vanderpump Rules. Aw shit! Did she really go there? Camille Grammar with the claws coming out! This is Season One Camille, and I freaking love every minute of it. I always knew that the woman she portrayed herself to be in the second season could not be who she really was. Season One Camille was so sassy and vindictive and “pernicious”. I am so happy to get a little bit of that woman come out again tonight. It’s great entertainment.

Anyway, the women keep arguing and accusing the other of lying. Kyle continues to stick up for Adrienne, which she claims that she doesn’t want to do. She doesn’t want to flight anyone’s battle, and yet there she is again. The only battle Kyle doesn’t help fight is the one against Lisa, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Mrs. Vanderpump. Lisa then says, “Sometimes the silence of your friends hurts worse than the words of your enemies.” Dang. Truth bomb. Is this the end of Kyle and Lisa’s friendship?

And then (wait for this!) Yolanda once again says something that I agree with! What?! Madness! Yolanda is kind of just over all the catty bullshit and is just like, yo,  this is the third dinner that they have wasted screaming at each other. She continues, “Why did I fly to Vegas to watch some girls scream at each other?” She’s right! This is getting ridiculous.

How are all these women not crippled by terrible anxiety? If a friend doesn’t even text me back, I’m convinced they hate me and I did something wrong. These women scream and yell and accuse and then go to brunch the next day. I guess it’s just a lifestyle I will never understand. Why do I watch this show again? Until next time, guys.

(Photo: Bravo TV)