Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Miss Cynthia Bailey Knows How To Read

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If for some reason I found out I'd have to die and come back as one of the ladies on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, there's no question in my mind I'd want it to be Cynthia Bailey. That is a woman who knows how to take care of herself. I'm not saying she's always right, and if I had to come back as just a regular person, I'd want a little more Kandi Burruss in my personality — but for the purposes of the show, she's ideal. Especially now that the terrifying Kenya Moore is on the show, you need to be able to hold your own in the middle of a crazystorm. In last night's episode, NeNe Leakes had a party for strong women, and she gracefully decided to invite all the Housewives, even though apparently she has some beef with Kandi and Kim Zolciak from previous seasons. So anyway, she decided to be two hours late to her own party, so by the time she came downstairs, Kim was on her way out.

Now let me stop you right there. First of all, Cynthia would never have been two hours late, but she also wouldn't have let Kim get away with what came next, which was saying she had to go to the bathroom and then DOING THE DIP. Hardcore Irish goodbye. Said she had to ‘go tee-tee' and then peaced out to go to some team dinner with Kroy. Oh no you did not. Not in my house.

And you know Kenya was there, too, thinking it was a party for her. There were like…hundreds of women present and after NeNe and Cynthia had both spoken, Kenya actually TOOK THE MIC and made a speech herself. Oh yeah, and she called their speeches ‘a clown show'. Like, sure, you're self-absorbed and a drama queen, but in what world does that feel okay to you? Do you really think people want to hear from you at a party where you don't even know everyone present?

So after the clown show comment, Kenya had to know it was on, which was probably why she pulled NeNe aside and was trying to strike up a friendship with her even though she got off on the wrong foot with Cynthia. So Cynthia pokes her little head into the conversation and does what any self-respecting woman would do to cut down a former pageant queen — ask her what year she won. Yessss. Yes please. Turns out it's 1993, and as NeNe said, “Miss Cynthia knows how to read.” Yes, yes she does. And I know how to listen, so I encourage every other woman on the show to cross this bitch, because I am loving her responses.