The Press Release For ‘Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011’ Reads Like A Joke

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Nine of the ten selections for Barbara Walters‘ “Most Fascinating People of 2011” special were revealed via press release last night, and I had to double check to make sure I wasn't reading The Onion. Among the list are Katy Perry, who is famous for making formulaic pop and having nice boobs, and Pippa Middleton, who is famous for being related to someone who married a dude who came out of a royal vagina and having a nice ass. But the biggest slap in the face by far to the meaning of the word “fascinating” is the inclusion of the Kardashian family, a group of meat bags that manages to make Paris Hilton look like Marie fucking Curie.

Here's the rest of the list:

Derek Jeter

Donald Trump

Simon Cowell

Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet from Modern Family

Katy Perry

Pippa Middleton

The Kardashians (specifically: Kim, Kourtney and Khloe)

At least Katy Perry is famous for doing something. (Granted, it's something I find atrocious, but a lot of people seem to like it.) The Kardashians are famous because one of them had an amateur sex tape leak, and they've spent the years since then doing everything in their power to get attention and money for simply existing. It wasn't even a particularly good sex tape. At least Snooki “just exists” in a way that's somewhat charming, and one gets the idea that she's not really smart enough to do anything else. The Kardashians' ignorance, meanwhile, seems more willful. If they applied an ounce of the effort they put into fame-whoring into any legitimate enterprise, I have no doubt they'd be moderately successful.

Babs is going to reveal the “most fascinating” person when the show airs, and I have a feeling it's either going to be Justin Bieber or Lady Gaga, because the world is a terrible place. You know you're in trouble when Simon Cowell seems like one of the better choices.

Who would you rather see on this list?

(Via ABC)