Mindy Kaling Gets Called Out For The Mindy Project’s Consent-less Anal Sex Scene

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Mindy Kaling Gets Called Out For The Mindy Project s Consent less Anal Sex Scene Im Disappointed at This Conversation gif

Ummm, were you aware that an anal sex scene was aired on broadcast television for the first time ever via The Mindy Project on your watch? Because I was not and I thought that we’d agreed that you’d fill me in on everything that I didn’t know about all things. But somehow, you FAILED to mention this and I had to hear it through the grapevine. In this case, there were no pre-wines (that’s what my permanently-buzzed great aunt calls grapes) on said vine. There was just Mindy Kaling being calling out for the fact that there was no consent established before Mindy and Danny did anal for the first time. In the scene about which I knew nothing, I should remind you. 

Mindy sat down with Emily Nussbaum at The New Yorker Festival to talk about the recent happenings on her show. During the interview, a fan asked her to respond to the critics of her choice to sort of gloss over a scene in which her character, Mindy, is blindsided by her boyfriend’s attempt to try something new sexually without discussion first.

“I think that Danny is a wonderful character, a wish-fulfillment character, and he loves Mindy, and they have a relationship that is very understanding with each other, and he tried something because he was trying to see what he could get away with. But I don’t think that in that relationship that Mindy’s reaction to it was ‘I feel violated’; it was ‘Hey man, run that by me!’”

This is a weird brain emotion that I’m having; I’m usually all for everything that Mindy says, but this time I’m not so sure. I feel confidently that Mindy wouldn’t purposely include a scene in her show that excuses abusive behavior of any kind. But I also feel like the fact that Danny loves Mindy and was feeling a little frisky on his end isn’t necessarily the best excuse. The whole idea of consent is that you’re never really sure what your partner is down for until you ask, no matter how “understanding” your relationship seems.

Mindy continued:

“I think that, we have to, in knowing what their relationship is and knowing that the way it was portrayed, it wasn’t something that made her feel unsafe or degraded … you can love someone and be in a relationship with them when you’re both consenting adults, and people can try things and you can be like … ‘I busted you on that.'”

Well, here’s the thing. “Consenting adult” isn’t some blanket statement that applies to an entire relationship; sometimes you could be consenting of things and other times you could not be, all within the same relationship with the same person. For example, the character Mindy was totally down to get down with this sexual encounter, but she was not consenting to his peen being introduced to her bee.

So, while I understand that there likely wasn’t any malicious intent on Mindy’s part as a writer or Danny’s part as a sexy timer, it still wouldn’t have hurt to slip even one line establishing consent into the scene. If only to say to audiences, “Hey, even dudebros like Danny care that their lady feels equally as in control of the situation. And that’s cool. Stay in school and don’t pay for do drugs, kids.”

(GIF: Tumblr)