The Biggest Loser: Welcome To The Bubblegum Swamp

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The Biggest LoserThe Biggest Loser finally got back to normal this week with the removal of the red line and the addition of some of those good ‘ol Biggest Loser twists. Things that I feel hurray! and meh. about, respectively. All the teams had to compete in a trivia challenge with questions about childhood obesity. And oh my god, you guys, if you want a kick in the ass to action, some of these statistics were pretty horrifying. (Did you know 75% of parents with obese children think their kids are normal or even under-weight? Eep.) It really is an epidemic, and I'm so glad they've chosen to focus on it this season. So anyway the Red Team won the challenge and the Blue Team lost, meaning they had to spend four-and-a-half hours A DAY in the junk room, which was filled with snack foods, TVs, and video games. The number of hours was significant because that's the amount of time the typical kid spends vegged out on their couch on any given day. Scary. So they have no choice about the vegging out, but they do have a choice about whether or not to eat the temptations, so Alex pours orange juice over the top of everything to make it less appetizing. Awesome idea, but I'm sure the on-site interns were pretty bummed when they saw that happening, right? Nooooo my post-lunch donuttttt!

While Bob‘s Blue Team is holed up in the junkhole or whatever it's called, Jillian is working out her tiny, two-person White Team and Dolvett is wrapping up a workout with his Red Team. When Francelina from the Red finishes her workout walks by Jillian's ladies killing their workout, she gets invited to join and she actually goes over. It was a nice moment, because Jillian pointed out that even though they're divided into teams, all the contestants and all the trainers are there for the same reason — to help these people lose weight. So any way that can happen is a good way. And I'm glad Francelina came over, because she ended up working out some good emotional stuff about her alcoholic dad, tears and all. And Jillian is the best possible person to get that stuff out of a person, so I'm glad this all worked out. I love her.

Biggest Loser

(Image: Tumblr)

This week's challenge looked like a county fair, with colorful rides and a ferris wheel in the background, but it was actually just a pit of sticky pink goo. They called it the bubblegum pit, and you had to take twenty gumballs through it. Because it's down to just two people, the White Team was divided onto two teams — Danni with the Blue, and Pam cheering on the Red, because she isn't cleared to compete in this challenge. Neither is Michael, due to ongoing injuries. The members of the winning team each get a year's worth of groceries. Which seems like a huge prize for how easy the challenge sounds, until they get into the goo and it is SO. STICKY. Seriously, look at Jackson slogging through it. They were like bubblegum monsters, it was terrible and also hilarious. Anyway, the Red Team wins because they always win everything. Hurray!

At Last Chance Workout, Pam is having another meltdown, but I think she's still gonna be safe because Cate just committed the cardinal sin of saying, on-camera, “I think I'm starting to get it.” She says it's starting to be fun for her and she's loving the experience and soooo not ready to go home yet…and the producers included it in the footage, so she may as well be wearing a red shirt on Star Trek. You goin' home, girl.

Annnd I'm right, because the Red Team loses the first thing ever after Pam loses a crazy 9 pounds. Joe has immunity because he lost the most weight on his team, and it ends up coming down to Cate and Jackson. And because Jackson is just 21 and because Cate herself said she was starting to get it, she's history. But in her check-back from home she's gotten under 200 pounds and she's planning to run a marathon! So hopefully she was at the ranch for long enough to learn some things, and she stays on the right track.

In the background of all of this, a child and family nutrition specialist goes to Sunny, Biingo, and Lindsay's houses to talk to them about their health and dietary needs, and to throw away big bags of fatty, sugary, salty foods. She makes an excellent point that it's okay to splurge occasionally, but your home should be a safe haven, free of temptation. And as a person who can't keep a pint of ice cream in my fridge for more than fifteen minutes, I couldn't agree more.

Come back next week for a rumored three-person elimination. What's your hurry, Biggest Loser? You got a shortened season or something? Jeez.

(Image: NBC)