The Bachelor: What A Lot Of First-Week Kisses

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Sean Lowe The BachelorFor the traditional Southern gentleman that he talks himself up to be, Sean Lowe sure did rake in a lot of first-week kisses on The Bachelor. Whether he's regretful about how long it took him to kiss Emily Maynard last season, or just trying to test out the new techniques that Arie Luyendyk taught him last week, Sean laid lips on at least three girls this week, that I saw. But the producers want to remember us that this is a real way that people meet and fall in love, not just a ploy for ratings, so they had host Chris Harrison remind us that, “Sean is fantastic, probably the most sincere bachelor we've ever had on this show.” Ah, okay. I see what's going on. Let's get to the dates.

The first date was a one-on-one, and Sarah was chosen for it. If you'll recall, she's the blond advertising executive from Colorado who was born with one arm. Sean and Sarah helicopter to the top of a building and then jump off of it, into a 300 foot free fall. You know, as you do on a first date. They're roped in and everything, but it's just that standard date that The Bachelor always goes on in the first week to “see if she's up for it”. And then Sean gets to hug her and reassure her and say, “I do consider myself a man, and I think a man should protect you.” It's all very romantic and spontaneous and totally unplanned. Luckily,  Sarah is in fact up for it, because she's great. She also gets a rose and a first kiss, which is great. What is not great is the fact that she already said the sentence, “I feel like I'm falling in love with Sean. I don't know how I got so lucky.” I don't feel great about that.

Back at the mansion, there's a date card for a romantic, personal, thirteen-person date, and here's who gets to go on it: Kristy, Amanda, Brooke, Lesley M., Daniella, Catherine, Robyn, Katie, Selma, Diana, Taryn, Kacie, and Tierra. Whew. They all go to a mansion somewhere to take pictures in costume for the covers of harlequin novels and be judged on who has the best chemistry. Kristy is a model in her real life, so she's extra excited. It's annoying. Tierra is starting to get a bad reputation with the girls, and Sean says “Leslie's made a big impression on me today”…aka her midriff is out. C'mon Seanson, pull it together. He ends up kissing Leslie on this photoshoot as an instruction from the director, and all of a sudden there are twelve reeeeeal territorial ladies on-set. Leslie doesn't win, though, because Kristy, y'know, does this for a living and stuff, and gets Sean to the point where he's undressing her in front of the camera. So she wins. Great. Quiet down now. Everybody goes to a pool party now, where Kacie gets the rose on the group date for her bravery in coming on the show a second time and getting shifted out of the friendzone. Congratulations.

The third date is another one-on-one, this time with Desiree. They go to an art show and Sean plays a prank on her, causing an ‘expensive' work of art to crash to the ground while she's alone in the room with it. The artist comes in, and one of the curators, and blah blah blah, we're accusing her of something she obviously didn't do, isn't this fun to see how she responds under pressure on their very first date? Luckily Desiree is a much better sport than I would be, getting tested on live television by a stranger, so they have a nice rest of the date with him cooking her dinner and them hot-tubbing together, then they kiss and she gets a rose. (Side note: what happened to Sean's abs? Wherefore have they gone?)

Back at the home-front, yoga lady Katie isn't adjusting very well, and asks to leave the show because it's not for her, and also presumably because she got a job on a movie set playing Helena Bonham Carter‘s stunt-hair. So she's gone and only two more girls are getting eliminated. It's not gonna be Lindsay, because she's bonding really well with Sean, and “showing me another side that I didn't see the other night”. Uh…yeah. Because she was drunk and wearing a wedding dress. And now she's sober and not wearing a wedding dress. It's a miracle. Amanda is sitting on the couch silently refusing to answer any questions, making everyone uncomfortable, and Robyn is interested in what Sean is interested in. In her words, she's interested in finding out what exactly he's looking for, and how race plays into it.” And Sean actually has a great answer in that physically he doesn't have a type. He wants someone who's sweet, intelligent, funny, and likes to have a good time. When asked about appearance, he says he told the producers it doesn't matter what the girl looks like, and he says he's dated everyone from Hispanic to white to Persian to black in the past. I actually like that answer.

Going home tonight were Brooke the community organizer, and Diana the salon owner. Bye ladies. Hopefully next week we'll be down to a small enough group of girls that I can actually remember some details of the remaining girls' personalities.

(Image: ABC)