Teen Mom 2: The End Of All MTV-Recorded Teen Mommery

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Last night, the very last Teen Mom 2 episode aired and we said goodbye to Jenelle Evans, Leah Messer-Calvert, Kailyn Lowry and Chelsea Houska. This is probably a very good thing for everyone involved (especially me…a-way-too-obsessed-with-trash-TV-shows-like-Teen-Mom-2 viewer) and because shit was getting a little too crazy, on and off screen. And I think MTV was like…hmm…best make this the last season and hope for the best for Jenelle Evans. I thought last week’s episode had hit the top of the crazy Richter scale with the whole insinuated heroin use and then the subsequent Jenelle Evans arrest, just days after. But this week proved to be even more ridiculous with court charges and failed interventions and alleged drug use. Oh yeah, and the other Teen Moms did some stuff too. But mostly, it’s just still so shocking to see the slow, step-by-step demise of Jenelle Evans – documented on each Teen Mom 2 episode. Jace isn’t even involved in the storyline anymore and it’s become more about Jenelle’s non-relationships or ruining of relationships with everyone but Kieffer Delp. While the other Teen Moms are evolving in their roles and lives and making sure they do what’s best for their kids, Jenelle is constantly and steadily losing control of everything, including ever being able to see Jace again.

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Leah Messer-Calvert’s segment revolved around baby Ali going in for her neuromuscular tests and finally getting to the bottom of her developmental problems. It’s been a long road for Leah…Corey Simms, breaking up, getting back together, marriage, divorce, moving from trailer to trailer, dating Jeremy, getting back with Corey, marrying Jeremy Calvert. All the while, Leah is raising twin babies, one with medical issues. I’d say she’s done pretty okay all things considered. I think Leah has always been pretty level-headed. She has always wanted what’s best for her family and has tried really hard to keep together their traditional 4-some. But, alas, Corey cannot make up his mind and so Jeremy has taken the Stepdad role in pretty good stride.  The whole family shows up in support for Ali’s medical procedures, and it’s a nice sight to see everyone getting along and coming together for family. Through all the crap they’ve been through, they still appear West Virginia tight.

It takes some maturity to all sit in the same room. I’m glad that the twins will have lots of love and support throughout their lives, despite their parents being umm teenage parents, married, divorced and constantly bickering for a lot of months. After deciding that it was definitely neuromuscular and probably muscular, Corey and Leah come together to comfort Ali before her biopsy. It’s pretty cute too when the twins call each other on the phone to talk. All goes well and they’ll be on the path to determining the best course for Ali to walk and continue growing with her disorder that still remains sort of unknown and unnamed. But the future is bright for Leah, the twins, Corey and Jeremy. Everyone is full of family love, no doubt live fewer than 10 miles away from each other and this story ends on a positive note. Yay Leah.

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Chelsea Houska and Aubree Skye are getting ready to go back to school after a month-long hiatus. Chelsea has accomplished all that she’s wanted…moving house, planning Aubree’s birthday party and celebrating her own 21st birthday. But now, it’s back to the real world. The real world being beauty school. Even after a minor “waking up too late so forget about going to school” setback, Chelsea gets up on time the second day and is ready to go back to school. But Aubree goes into Chelsea’s room, locks the door then falls back asleep. Which I, as someone who doesn’t have a child, thought was HILARIOUS. Seriously, do kids do this a lot? I had no idea. How cunning. How funny. And how frustrating for poor Chelsea who’s just trying to multitask curling her hair and breaking into her bedroom with a credit card errr bobby pin errr screwdriver. Luckily, she can get in there and scold little Aubree who happens to actually be asleep. Oh man, Chels, you are going to have some rough teenage years ahead of you. But anyway, Chelsea makes it to school, albeit a little late, and everyone is so happy to see her. She falls back into beauty routine like riding a bike. Speaking of bikes, Chelsea swears she’s off the Adam Lind kool-aid for-ev-er. Which Papa Randy is thrilled about. Praise Jesus! Good for Chels. She’s back in school, being a great Mom to Aubree, throwing awesome birthday parties, staying away from Adam and having heart-to-hearts with the parental units despite everyone thinking she would never get her butt in gear. I hope she can find some man candy that will make her happy and be a good role model for Aubs. But for now, congrats girl! Now go throw some pink glitter and make it rain on it.

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Kailyn Lowry has set the courthouse wedding date and tells Javi Marroquin when he comes home. And not a moment too soon cause Javi has his own news about being booted to boot camp ASAP. Even though Javi displays some cold feet sentiments, they are both excited to be married. And so, they gather up their witnesses and cowboy-hatted Isaac and head to the courthouse. Twenty minutes later, boom. Mr. and Mrs. Marroquin. They go to meet up with friends and talk about when Kailyn is going to let Jo Rivera know they’ve been nuptially bound. Kailyn, as always, will tell Jo when she’s good and ready thank you very much. But Kailyn does tell Jo when she meets up with him later. They’ve been getting along better with the counseling and the acceptance of things they cannot change. Kailyn lets Jo know about the marriage and Jo says congratulations. Which, I think, he really does mean. Jo just wants stability for when he’ll be able to see Isaac and I feel bad that Kailyn has always called the shots when it comes to custody. But, Kailyn has also been one of the most stable Teen Moms on the entire show, and so despite her setbacks, I think that she’s making all the right moves. I hope that she doesn’t have to move too far away from Jo, but I also know that the family love is there, so Isaac should never feel like he’s without. Javi ships out a week later and he’ll be gone for boot camp then tech school. Ah military life. A tearful goodbye from Javi is really really sweet. A cute family that’s been through a lot and seen it through to the other side.

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Finally Jenelle. I knew it was going to be eventful when they started with Jenelle explaining how Barbara and her boyfriend Mike barged into their house and caught them “in bed sleeping.” Of course, there’s two sides to the story, so we’ll go to Babs for the sober recap. Boston Barb and Mike say that they were coming over to make sure Jenelle wasn’t in trouble and when no one answered the door, they came in and found them passed out in bed. Oh yeah, and according to Mike, they also found a syringe and a baggie of something. But not to worry, later, Kieffer confirms the allegations by admitting that Mike “stole” his syringe and bag of weed. Jesus Christo. Really dude? Dumber than hell. But still their alleged drug use is worrisome to Babs cause she really does care about her daughter despite the numerous eff ups and failed interventions and fights and time spent hanging out with Kieffer The Worst. Barbara decides that the best thing to do is to have Jenelle committed. I didn’t know how you even got someone committed, so I can’t say Teen Mom 2 never taught me anything. But yeah, Babs goes down to the police station and has the sheriff show up to Jenelle’s house and brings her to the hospital. She chills there for about 3 hours and then Kieffer comes to pick her up. So, I dunno what goes on when you’re committed to the psychiatric ward, but I guess Jenelle passed the test. It’s kind of disappointing that it didn’t work out to Jenelle and Barbara’s advantage. Cause basically, she just goes home with Kieffer, who is all pissed off at his own delusional denials and wants to press charges on Barbara and Mike for breaking into their house and stealing his syringe. Okkkkkkkkkkkay. It’s painful to see Jenelle know what is the right thing to do (uh, maybe not press charges against your family…the only people who really care about you and are raising your child) but still go along with Kieffer because she’s constantly emotionally distraught.

To watch the anger and the denial and the freaking out when Kieffer can’t remember where he put his drugs and all of the other telltale signs of drug abuse…it’s disturbing. Like watching an intervention that fails every time. Jenelle is even in denial about why her Mom won’t let her see Jace and thinks that Barbara is using her custody of Jace against Jenelle. Right. So after Kieffer files charges against Babs and Mike (which I’m honestly surprised even worked) and they receive their court summons, they just sorta laugh and cry at the absurdity of it all. Kieffer doesn’t even legally live in that house. And come to think of it how are either of them living in that house when they were supposed to be evicted? And when Babs tells the sheriff who pressed charges on her, even the sheriff allegedly laughed. Cause it’s jokes. But what’s not a joke is watching Jenelle sit on the couch and act like someone who has just shot up heroin. Eyes closed, mumbling words and just generally lying in an altered state of reality. And that’s how we leave our Jenelle Teen Mom 2 story. Of course, we know there’s much more drama, from her twitter page and news articles, but damn…rough ending, indeed.

We do have one last chance to watch the Teen Moms during the future episode of Teen Mom 2 Check Up With the ever invasive Dr. Drew. Which I cannot wait for since they preview that Chelsea has been hooking up with Adam again. Whaaaaaa? Really?!?! Ugh. But I’d also like to hear how Jenelle shapes up, knowing what happens between the time it was filmed and present day. I hope that all the Teen Moms have gotten what they needed from the show and that they can move on to good family lives (not a la Farrah Abraham). Hoorah for the end of Teen Mom 2. Now what in the hell am I going to do on Monday nights?