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Spelling And Grammar Lessons With Team Breezy

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The first lesson you learn as a professional blogger is never to take comments personally. Don't let the compliments go to your head and don't let the insults go to your heart. So when Team Breezy repeatedly told me they I hope I die in every one of the articles I wrote about Chris Brown recently, I didn't get upset and cry.

However when they told me to die using exceptionally creative grammar and spelling, I started to grow concerned. Team Breezy has a big job — defending their idol Chris Brown from all the unforgiving assholes on the Internet — and they just won't be able to accomplish it until they learn how to form a sentence.

As everyone knows, forming a sentence is the first step to forming an argument. So with no further ado, let's begin with some of the wonderful comments on my most recent Christ Brown post called “Nicki Minaj Will Regret Teaming Up With Chris Brown.”

Lesson #1

Before pressing “comment” make sure to check your spelling. While words like “article” can be tricky, they're key to sounding like you actually read the article and understood the points. Also don't forget to read your comment aloud before you save it, sometimes run-on sentences can sneak in and make you sound incoherent.

Lesson #2

Take the time to spell out you. It will help when you fight back against my comment that you're semi-literate. Also apostrophes are your friend. Feel free to see them whenever you use a contraction like ya'll and can't and hasn't. Last but not least, never use numbers in a word. It's always someone, never sum1.

Lesson #3

When attacking someone for being retarded, make sure to use the correct form of the word. “The writer is retard” hurts the point you're trying to get across.

Lesson #4

Remember that the person referred to in a blog post often isn't reading the post. However if you start your comment referring to them, try to make it clear when you're directing your comment back to the writer.  Otherwise it might sound like you're calling Nicki a crazy ass.

Lesson #5

Make sure not to fall into the common then vs. than trap. This should read “still going to be making more money than you.” Also capital letters at the beginning of sentences are your friends!

Last but not least,  know that the majority of articles you'll read on a blog are one-sided and biased. The conversation usually begins in the commenting section.

Thanks for taking the time to learn a little bit more about basic grammar and spelling. I promise that these lessons will help you be the best commenter you can be.