Taylor Swift Now A Target Of The Westboro Baptist Church, Who Must Be Running Out Of Targets

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Taylor Swift Fragrance Foundation Awards June 2013

Is it a slow month for bigotry? Has the Westboro Baptist Church's ever-expanding list of people to protest finally reached its final entry and they're struggling to find their next target? That's the only explanation I can come up with for why they would now be targeting Taylor Swift for being “the whorish face of doomed America.” That phrase is shockingly (or not shockingly, if you're familiar with the WBC) not a satirical invention on my part but rather an actual quote from the group. Look, the last thing I'd do is encourage the Westboro Baptist Church to protest anything, but this is simply ridiculous. She sticks her tongue out at people kissing, for crying out loud!

According to Radar Online, the group's leader, Ben Phelps, says of Taylor, “What she’s famous for is hopping around from one bed from another.” No, I think what she's famous for is writing songs about her boyfriends. Songs which, I might add, don't discuss sexytimes. Unless I missed something and kids are now playing her songs backwards to learn about bed-hopping. Is “We are never, ever, ever getting back together” played backwards “We are really, really, really going to sleep together?” I haven't tried it out, although I do hear that if you play Red in sync with Titanic it lines up perfectly. But you have to have a cat in the room for it to work.

Nevertheless, the WBC plans to protest Taylor's upcoming August concert in Kansas City, their hometown. They disapprove of her “immodest, vulgar appearance” (yes, Peter Pan collars and angelic white dresses really are Satan's very own Project Runway creations) and urge Taylor to tweet a “simple” message: “Stop fornicating ladies, and obey God.” But my question is, instead of tweeting, can she Vine it while baking snickerdoodles? If I know anything about Taylor Swift fans from the comments we receive on Crushable posts about her, I think it's safe to say those “fifteen” protesters will really feel some adorable, probably-bangs-sporting wrath.

Why oh why would the WBC be targeting Taylor of all people? I think they answered that in their very own statement: “She’s widely loved. She’s got huge approval ratings.” Aaand there it is!

(Photo: Felipe Ramales,PacificCoastNews)