Taylor Swift Uses New Interview To Continue Her Campaign To Be Middle School Performer Of The Year

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Taylor Swift Vanity Fair coverSo there's a neat thing happening lately in the world. I like it to call it Taylor Swift backlash. After years of feeling like the I'm the only person in the world who saw through her act, it's somewhat refreshing that everyone's hopped aboard my train now. On the other hand, I feel like my space is real crowded now. Every other day I'm reading an article about Taylor Swift being the absolute worst. Before everyone else started dissecting everything she said,  I could pretend like I was Erin Brockovich. A lone voice with metaphorically huge boobs, just trying to right the wrongs in the world. But now I'm just another due-paying member of the Anti-Taylor-Swift club. And Taylor Swift knows that. Not that I'm personally struggling with my feelings toward her anti-fans, but that everyone's wising up to her schtick. So she's starting to respond to all the backlash in the most mature way possible.

I'm sorry. Did I say mature. I meant treating a Vanity Fair interview like a middle school gossip sesh in the bathroom during lunch. Do you remember those convos? I can't remember if those happened in real life or just in movies I watched. Either way, that's where I picture this interview going down.

First she kicks it off by sending Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to hell for joking about her at the 2013 Golden Globes. Which is an obvious mistake because there's no pair more beloved in Hollywood than those two. Also, putting them in the pile of women who don't help other women feels a little hypocritical coming from the girl who's built a career on slut shaming girls who dared to have brown hair in music videos. Oh, and I guess it has to be said that it's a little disappointing to see Taylor Swift adding “women” to the list of people who make her feel sad face. It should be enough that “men” are already doing that to her all the time.

“You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people,” Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Nancy Jo Sales on the subject of mean girls in general and in response to an incident at this year’s Golden Globes, where Amy Poehler and Tina Fey mocked her highly scrutinized love life. “Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’”

Then she moves on to talk details about her personal life. Well she doesn't talk about the details, because she's a classy lady. (Also, her album sales depend on her not dishing any dirt before the singles start dropping.) However that doesn't mean that she won't let someone else talk about it. 

Although one of Swift’s rules is that she doesn’t go into the personal details of any of her relationships, she authorized someone to discuss them with Sales. “He wore her down,” the source says of Styles, who allegedly “chased” Swift for a year. “He was all, like, ‘You’re amazing—I want to be with you. I want to do this.’” The relationship fell apart after he texted Swift to alert her of a picture on the Internet of him kissing a friend good-bye. They were “making outlike with their hands all up in each other’s hair,” says the source. After Swift ended the relationship, he pursued her for the better part of a year until she finally took him back. “But the whole time she says she feels like he’s looking at every girl,” the source continues. And then when they were in London together he “disappears one night and after that it was like he just didn’t want to keep going.”

I'm sorry. Is there anymore more middle school than this move? This whole, “I'm way too mature to talk about my ex, but you're welcome to talk to my BFF who knows everything that happened.” This just reminds me of the time she told Katie Couric (who we now know is her spirit animal) that she thinks it's silly that her ex-boyfriends contact her when she sings publicly about them. Once again Taylor Swift, you can't have it both ways. You can't be “above sharing intimate details of your life” and also “here's the phone number of a source who will gladly tell you intimate details of my life.”

This interview shows that she's clearly coming to a point in her career when she needs to start making some tough decisions about her public image. Is she going to stand behind her decisions to sing about her relationships? Or is she going to keep playing the victim and just insulting everyone who dares to cross her path? I guess we'll have to wait for the next interview — likely to drop in just a few days — to find out.

In the meantime, she best stay away from Amy and Tines.