Taylor Swift’s Security Guards Actually Rained On A Rhode Island Parade

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Taylor Swift 4th of July 2013

Continuing today's trend of ridiculous celebrity lives, Taylor Swift‘s body guards reportedly tried to shut down a 4th of July parade happening near her home, because they felt it was getting “out of control.”  You know, because when I think of crazy, out-of-control shenanigans I think of a New England holiday parade.  Don't you?  I bet there were even people in attendance wearing seersucker pants and chewing Tootsie rolls!  Living on the edge, I tell you.

This isn't the first time Taylor Swift's bodyguards have earned a reputation for being overzealous in their duties.  Local Rhode Islanders are pissed about their new neighbor, and I can't imagine why.  I mean, Taylor is only one of the biggest stars on the planet right now.   Who bought one of the biggest houses in New England.  On a public beach. You'd think the local yokels wanted normal lives and privacy or something. So weird, right?!

One of said yokels (an anonymous yokel of course) said that “tensions are running high” between Taylor's Queensguard and the community.  ““At the Fourth of July parade, some of the guards accused some of the kids of ‘pelting’ them with candy but they were just passing it out. It was a parade!”  Excuse me for just one moment. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Ahem, okay.  All better now.  Look, I get it.  Her security peeps were just trying to secure the area so she could pose for the perfect Independence Day Instagram pictures, ok? Gosh.

(Photo: Taylor Swift)