Taylor Swift Was So Shocked By Her Award That She Only Prepared A 3-Minute Speech

By  | 

Taylor Swift receiving Pinnacle Award at the CMAs November 2013We still have a few months before the faux-surprised speeches start flooding in from Hollywood celebrities during awards season, but luckily Taylor Swift is here in the meantime to keep our earnestness tolerance up. She won something called the Pinnacle Award at the Country Music Awards last night, and my goodness there was a lot of gushing.

I don't know if you've seen it before, but the thing about the CMAs is that everyone is so. genuine. I don't know if they actually all like each other or if they're really good at pretending, but either way it's pretty convincing. The clip starts out with Lennon and Maisy Stella, the two younger sisters from Nashville, finishing some sort of song tribute to her, after which Taylor needs a hug from Maisy and plants I'm gonna say four kisses on her face and head, trying to get her red lipstick to come off on her.

And then a mighty team of recognizable names and indiscriminately cowboy-hatted gentlemen assembles onstage and the curtain comes up to reveal that today the is the day the Pinnacle Award is to be given away! To Taylor Swift, of all people! WHAT MY GOODNESS, THIS IS SO UNEXPECTED! That is why I brought my parents and was seated in the front row and tried out this dashing mullet updo. I just had no idea this was coming, so I only prepared a three-minute speech for the occasion!

I'm being cynical, of course, because this award is actually pretty great. It's to honor anyone who does a particular service in bringing country music to a wider audience, and who also has a groundbreaking presence in the community, both of which Taylor has undeniably done. Plus only two have been given out ever, with Garth Brooks being given the other one.

In a video packet featuring fellow music artists, country-ish celebrities, and, inexplicably, Julia Roberts, Taylor's career is detailed down to every extremely impressive detail. I didn't realize it, but she was the most charitable celebrity in 2012, giving away millions of dollars of her hard-earned money. Which is particularly incredible when you consider the fact that, at twenty-three, she's only four years older than Justin Bieber. So while he's taking chicken nugget-induced naps with an alleged prostitute, she's she's donating $4 million to open an education center. Kind of puts things in perspective.

But if there's one thing I hate, it's putting things in perspective, so I'd much rather point out how silly it is that Taylor was pretending to be surprised, only to follow it up by admitting that she totally knew this was happening. Because of course she did. Part of what I find so grating about her is her extremely polished persona, and this award really pointed out to me that that persona is a result of hard work and impressive ambition, so maybe I can take it easy for a minute.

So congratulations Taylor, on your well-deserved achievement. Now get back to saying silly things about boys so that my destiny as a blogger can be fulfilled.