If Taylor Swift Cheated On Conor With His Cousin, She’s Probably Uninvited To Kennedy Thanksgiving

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In news that's so wonderfully musical to my ears that I simply cannot believe it, Star Magazine reports that Taylor Swift allegedly cheated on her boyfriend Conor Kennedy with his cousin Patrick Schwarzenegger!

Sure Star Magazine has less credibility than a Dina Lohan appearance on Dr. Phil and sure the word cousin can be used pretty loosely in the complicated Kennedy family tree, but still, GOSSIP! Like, really good gossip!

Before we start discussing how Taylor Swift can spin this into a soulful song about how these dreadful no-good boys manipulated her into cheating, let's go over the allegations.

According to the magazine, Taylor secretly made out with Patrick at a family event she attended with Conor, and the family is up in arms over it, calling her a “hanger-on” who has an obsession with the Kennedys. “Taylor was making out with Patrick all night,” a source told Star about the party. Taylor's rep denies the claim…”Conor doesn't know, but everyone else in the family does.”

Wow, how the golden-legged tables encrusted in diamonds have turned. Just days ago, the entire Kennedy family sang Taylor Swift's praise. Now they're changing all the locks to their houses, estates, stables, gold mines, yacht farms, historic mansions, operating mills, ski houses, renaissance faires,  hidden bungalows and illegitimate wives' homes.

As much as I want to believe this rumor and bathe in this rumor and marry this rumor, I have trouble believing it's true. Making out's a pretty serious charge for Taylor Swift and I highly doubt she'd do that at a family event.

That's the normal person equivalent of reading Fifty Shades of Grey aloud during your grandmother's 90th birthday party. So the more accurate rumor's probably that Taylor Swift smiled coyly at Patrick while cutting up Ethel Kennedy's lunch.

(Photo: ztimages.com, PacificCoastNews.com)