t.A.T.u. Performed At The Sochi Opening Ceremony, So I Guess Putin’s Never Seen Their Videos

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t.A.T.u. performing at Sochi Winter Olympics 2014Remember that whole thing where Putin and his buddies are super bigoted and made it illegal to even suggest to young people that homosexual relationships are in any way equivalent to heterosexual ones? And he like…arrested a bunch of LGBT demonstrators just today for non-violently protesting outside the Olympic Opening Ceremony in Sochi? Well apparently some of the details of same-sex relationships slipped through the cracks in his brain, because t.A.T.u. just performed at that very same Opening Ceremony.

You remember t.A.T.u., right? It's that musical Russian duo who were popular in America for a second back in the day. Without looking it up, I wouldn't have been able to tell you their names, whether they were still together, or that the name of their biggest international hit was ‘Not Gonna Get Us', which they performed today…but do you know what I would've been able to tell you? That they were fairly notorious lesbians. Or at least pretended to be back when they made this video.

THAT'S RIGHT EVERYONE. Lesbians. Two of them. RAIN-KISSERS. There were no smooches at today's performance, but they did come onstage hand-in-hand and proceeded to play the hit that made them famous, while the entire stadium (only 70% filled, mind you) pretty much froze up like a deer in the headlights, too nervous about the context to do more than even sway to the music.

…is this some elaborate trap, or what? Is everyone who dances gonna get arrested, or did Putin sleep through this performance, or what? The only standards the 2014 Olympics have really adhered to so far is unpreparedness and human rights violation, and you're really ready to throw one of those out the door on day one? I'm all for finally acknowledging that homosexuals aren't subhuman beasts spewing heathen propaganda out their filthy mouth-holes, I'm just surprised to find that you feel the same way! This is so off-brand for you guys!

Someone in his office must be giving Putin some bad information, because he accidentally just treated two women who had KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE MOUTH like they were worthy of our respect. How very un-Sochi of you.

(Photo: Clive Mason / Getty Images Sport)