Entertainment

Stephen Colbert Gives Us What We’ve Always Wanted, a Puppy Version of the Oscars

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Stephen Colbert Puppy Oscars 2016

I think we can all agree that the Oscars have their good parts and their bad parts. That's to be expected from a four-hour event with a 100-hour red carpet preshow. Wouldn't it be nice if, when we got bored of stiff presenter banter and trying to tell the difference between sound editing and sound mixing, there was something else we could turn to that perhaps had puppies? Like the Puppy Bowl, except for the Oscars? Well, Stephen Colbert agrees, and that's why last night he gave us the Puppy Oscars. As we've seen time and time again, puppies make everything better.

Once you've seen the puppies in this video walk the red carpet in fancy dresses and gnaw on the microphone like it's a chew toy, you'll be ready to watch something like this every year. Then when you see the nominees for Best Actor — Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio and, in this puppy universe, Tom Hardy for Mad Max — you'll be ready to throw out the real Oscars entirely and just watch this version. And when you see puppy Matt Damon accept the award dressed like a pilgrim for some reason, while his lovely puppy wife applauds, you'll be ready to ban any and all television programs that don't have puppies.

As Colbert points out, all the puppies in this video are available for adoption at AnimalLeague.org. I'm going to need The Late Show to do this every year, for more events than just the Oscars. I want to see the puppy Golden Globes, the puppy Grammys, and the puppy MTV Movie Awards. Oh, and the puppy Olympics during applicable years. Don't let me down, Colbert. Sure, Jimmy Fallon gives us puppies predicting sporting events, but if they're not walking red carpets and delivering acceptance speeches, it's simply not the same.

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