Let Me And Benedict Cumberbatch Catch You Up On Star Trek For The Day

By  | 

Benedict Cumberbatch and Chris Pine in Star Trek Into Darkness still May 2013Good morning, hello there, are you ready for your Star Trek update for the day? I know you barely have your slippers on, and you haven't had your first cup of coffee or even gotten out of bed, and if I'm being honest me and Benedict Cumberbatch have been lying here watching you sleep for a couple hours, but I'm ready to chat now, so let's chat. Sorry. I wake up social. ANYWAY. As of this moment, it's exactly nine days until Star Trek Into Darkness is released in theaters, and exactly five days until I see it myself in a press screening with whichever of my friends flatters me the most in the days until then. And no, I'm not kidding; I actually do force my friends to vie for my affections. It's one of the perks of getting free movies through your job.

So let's catch up, shall we? All sorts of Star Trek elves have been working through the night to put lots of tasty treats up on the internet, like this inexplicable, almost eight-minute long collection of all the Star Trek B-roll footage. It's fun and useful if you like to watch movie folk hanging out and laughing together in a casual and intimate way, but it's not fun or useful AT ALL if you were assuming it was a blooper reel and you got super excited. Which happened to…my friend. Definitely not me.

And now I have some bad news, guys. As was so aptly pointed out by Conan O'Brien last night, this is apparently shaping up to be a really boring movie. It's going along just fine and then WHAMMY — my new crush Benedict totally derails it because he won't stop talking about numbers for like the last two hours of the movie. UGH. I hate numbers, and I wish I could hate them more, but they still sound surprisingly interesting when coming out of Benedict's mouth.

Ha! I tricked you, you silly old bean. That was just a joke-funny that Conan made. In the mood for more joke-funnies? Well then you're in luck, because I've saved the funniest of all for last — the Honest Trailer for Star Trek 2009. If you guys haven't seen one of their trailers before, prepare to be dazzled by humor, because these things are one of my favoritest things. They make me laugh at a movie that I actually really enjoyed by pointing out the silliest things about it. It's great.

And there you go! Having received your daily Star Trek update, you're now free to move about the cabin and start your day as I, the captain of this information-train, have turned off the fasten-seatbelt sign. Have a glorious day, you little polo ponies.