Star Shrinking: Lindsay Lohan Can Only Play Real People

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Poor Lindsay Lohan just can't seem to catch a break. Though she's out of rehab and isn't going to do time for her alleged necklace-stealing, she hasn't yet landed a film role. Although there have been a ton of casting rumors, nothing has panned out for our erstwhile LiLo. However, there is one interesting connection between all the roles she has been attached to. It seems that the only parts she's getting offered are playing real people.

  • Linda Lovelace
    Lindsay won the lead in Inferno, a biopic of Deep Throat star Linda Lovelace. However, her rehab schedule caused too many headaches for the production team, so she was let go and replaced with Watchmen‘s Malin Akerman.
  • Sharon Tate
    Tate was one of Hollywood's tragic stories – wife of director Roman Polanski, she was murdered by members of Charles Manson‘s gang when she was eight months pregnant. LiLo was reportedly offered the role of Tate in an upcoming movie about Manson called Dreamers. The movie is still in the planning stages and has not yet been confirmed.
  • Victoria Gotti
    A movie about multigeneration mafia family the Gottis is in the works, and Victoria herself said that she wanted Lindsay to play her. It seemed like a perfect fit, as Lindsay and Victoria had many similarities, from their Long Island roots to their dark roots. However, Lindsay and her camp reportedly asked for too much money and wanted Lindsay to get paid the same as costar John Travolta, so the part was gone as soon as she landed it.
  • Kim Gotti
    What a tangled web she weaves – no sooner had news broken that Lindsay had lost out on the role of Victoria Gotti than a new story broke that Lindsay would actually be playing Kim Gotti, wife of John Gotti, Jr. Since there's no script yet, it's hard to tell if this role is an upgrade or downgrade.

While we're at it, there's one role Lindsay was born to play – herself. Think about it: a young rising star with talent, looks, and determination, but she's hampered by her addictions and her crazy family. It could be the best comeback ever.