New Spring Breakers Promo Pics Intensify Phase One Of Harmony Korine’s Hilarious Bait And Switch
Each time the internet freaks out about a bunch of hott new promo pics for Spring Breakers, I get excited all over again for people who know nothing about Harmony Korine but everything about Selena Gomez to actually see this fucking movie.
The latest batch of cheesecake comes courtesy of the film's Facebook page, which has been posting a steady stream of tantalizing, barely legal photos of Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson in bikinis, short shorts, and the occasional unicorn balaclava:
That the photos are captioned in the texting patois of the millennial generation is just one further hint that Harmony Korine is fucking with people big time. Because here's the thing: if there's anything I know about Harmony Korine movies, it's that they are pretty much never heteronormatively appealing orgies of young flesh and hot sex. Sure, they contain sex and nudity, but it is always weird and gross and disturbing, like the AIDS-y deflowering scene in Kids or the rape scene in Kids, or darkly funny, like the nipple-taping scene in Gummo, or the trash humping scenes in, um, Trash Humpers. I defy any normal person to jerk off to any of this, and I have no reason to believe Spring Breakers will be any different in this regard.
What is different about it, of course, is that by luring people in with mainstream stars, glossy advertising and sexy bikini photos, Spring Breakers will have a much larger audience than any Harmony Korine film ever yet made. People who know nothing of Mr. Korine's body of work will go see it because it they find James Franco and/or Selena Gomez sexy, only to sit through hours of slow-paced weirdness that will make them feel feelings they've never felt before. Everyone is going to hate it! Perhaps a few will even sue for false advertising. But they will not be able to un-see what they see.
This makes me so happy you don't even know. And lest you think I'm being a huge snob, while I do think the vast majority of dupes are going to be huge philistines about it, I am also sure that at least a few impressionable teenyboppers will get into weird, non-linear, artsy, underground shit as a result, and maybe even start making stuff of their own. And that, my friends, is worth more to me than a thousand angry jocks. #culturejamming