Entertainment

Shailene Woodley Is Closer Than Ever To Being Free From The Secret Life Of The American Teenager

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The movie The Spectacular Now just cast the Golden Globe nominated actress Shailene Woodley as a teenage girl who changes an alcoholic teenage boy's life. It's your basic high school love story and could probably also be called One Last Red Solo Cup.

As excited as I am to see this teen drama unfold on the big screen, I'm even more excited for Shailene Woodley to use this opportunity to break free from the horrible clutches of The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Despite being a talented actress, her performance on that show comes off as wooden and awkward. While I initially just thought Shailene sucked at  portraying human emotions and feelings, I now realize she just doesnt' want to be there. Because the girl clearly can act. I saw it with my very own eyes in The Descendants, just like the people who nominated her for the Golden Globe.

So now that she's starting to get cast in more movies, she's closer than ever to being able to leave that show. And yes, I typed “that show” with so much disdain becuase I really believe it's one of the worst shows on television. I've never seen a show talk so much about who's having sex in my life. You never see any sex or even see any foreplay, you just hear people talking about it after it happened.

Person 1: Did you hear they had sex?

Person 2: No I did not hear they had sex. Did you tell her?

Person 1: I'll call her now.

Person 3: I already know, they had sex.

Person 1: Yes, they did have sex.

Person 2: So just confirming, they did have sex, right.

Person 3: Yes, sex was had by all.

That's not an exaggeration. That's probably a conversation that happens at least once in every episode. If you found that painful to read, imagine having to act it out. That's what poor Shailene has to do every single week. Look at those lines and make them work. It's close to impossible — and I think her acting on the show reflects that she's not even trying anymore.

So join with me in praying that Shailene gets cast in so many movies that she can quit this horrible show and move on to bigger and better projects. Also throw in an additional prayer that she learned her lesson about wearing five-finger shoes on the red carpet.