Entertainment

The Season 20 Dancing With The Stars Cast Is Here, And It’s Just As Rigged And Boring As Ever

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You know what makes for really good reality competition shows? When you can tell who the winner is going to be right from the very beginning. Usually, there's just one person who's clearly more talented than the rest of the group. And sometimes, when you're the Dancing With The Stars casting team, you pick someone so obviously talented that you're basically not even giving anyone else a shot. In most languages, that's known as “cheating” or “rigging the competition,” but in DWTS language, it's called, “If Derek Hough doesn't win this season, he may go full meerkat and we'll never see him again, so let's cut him a break.”

In all seriousness, it seems like the cast gets rigged even more with each passing year. The full cast list for season 20 was released earlier today. Check it out in full below so we can discuss:

Noah Galloway with Sharna Burgess
Robert Herjavec
with Kym Johnson
Patti LaBelle
with Artem Chigvintsev
Nastia Liukin
with Derek Hough
Riker Lynch
with Allison Holker
Charlotte McKinney
with Keo Motsepe
RedFoo
with Emma Slater
Michael Sam
with Peta Murgatroyd
Willow Shields
with Mark Ballas
Suzanne Somers
with Tony Dovolani
Rumer Willis
with Valentin Chmerkovskiy

Mixed in with the irrelevants are Rumer Willis, Willow Shields (she plays Prim in The Hunger Games), RedFoo (EXCUSE ME WHILE I LOL BACK AND FORTH FOREVER), the NFL's first openly-gay player, Michael Sam, and this season's clear winner, Olympic gymnast Nastia Liukin. 

An Olympic. Gymnast. Excuse me, but how is this fair again? She's already agile, has proven her musical capabilities during her floor routines, and is just generally stronger and more coordinated than the entire cast of characters here. This is Meryl Davis all over again, and quite frankly, DWTS can do better. The whole point of this show is to watch celebrities embarrass themselves do something they've never done before and hopefully excel, and including surefire wins like these athletes just ruins the curve and the fun.

Not that I was going to watch, anyway. I just figured I'd get indignant early on in the game.

(GIF: Giphy)

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