The Story Of The Woman Who Threw Up On Ryan Reynolds Is The Weirdest Thing You’ll Read Today

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Ryan Reynolds Turbo premiere New York July 2013

I hate to break it to you guys, but somebody threw up on Ryan Reynolds. I know, how could anyone do such a thing to dear, sweet, attractive, sort of boring Ryan Reynolds? It's an absolute travesty, and I'm currently putting together an event to raise awareness. There will be snacks there. Don't eat too many or the event will become very ironic. But back to the story at hand. In an article that reads like someone's weird airplane fan fiction, Radar Online reports that Ryan was recently on a flight from New York City to New Orleans with his flaxen-haired wife Blake Lively when all pukey hell broke loose — all over his shirt. I'm giving you fair warning now that this story involves vomit, in case you hadn't already realized.

An eyewitness made sure to really set the scene, even specifying that Ryan was on Delta Flight #1715 and sitting in seat 2D by the window, in case your imagination is broken and you need specific details to properly picture the situation. No word on if there was something wrong with the left phalange.

“About two-thirds of the way into the flight, a young lady in front of him in 1D vomited toward her window, which then spewed back all over Ryan’s beige cashmere sweater. She had clearly had too much to drink, causing her to be sick.”

That was some determined puke right there. It wasn't even directed at Ryan but it made a sharp turn at the window and made sure to make contact. But that wasn't the end of it. Apparently Ryan just took his sweater off right there on the plane, causing the flight attendants to “giggle amongst themselves.” I know I'm not the only one who suspects this whole thing was intricately planned. By either the vomiter or the vomit itself. It seemed to really have a mind of its own, so I wouldn't be surprised if it purposely landed on him just to get a little glimpse of him shirtless. But if it was the vomiter who orchestrated it, my money's on it being Melissa Joan Hart in disguise.

Apparently Ryan managed to get a clean shirt, and he and Blake were escorted off the plane by security. When they landed. Not while they were in the air. That would be a whole other story entirely. And now you know about the time a woman threw up on Ryan Reynolds. I expect the movie rights to be sold any minute. Word on the street is literally every Hollywood heartthrob is in talks to play him, including himself.

(Photo: Andres Otero/WENN.com)