We Know This News Story Is Fake Because Ryan Gosling Would Never Let Eva Mendes Propose To Him

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Ryan Gosling Eva Mendes proposal child out of wedlock wtfIt's reports like these that are little more than celebrity fan fiction, and just get exhausting to deal with because their foundations are so obviously nonexistent: Apparently Ryan Gosling is steadfastly opposed to having a child out of wedlock. How do we know this? Because a “source” told ShowbizSpy, that's how. Last week we gave you chapter and verse on how we feel about anonymous sources, and this article perfectly exemplifies that: There are absolutely no facts or legitimate quotes to back up Ryan's supposed atypical — to Hollywood, at least — view on kids and marriage.

Oh, and let's talk about marriage. Because the article crafts this whole fantasy about how Ryan's girlfriend Eva Mendes was pressuring him to father her child and he said no. You know, because he dictates his life by the nursery rhyme first comes love / then comes marriage / then comes a baby in a baby carriage. So, Eva is now plotting to get Ryan's sperm by taking the reins and proposing to him come their one-year anniversary. Oh, hell, I'll quote the “insider” just for fun:

“Ryan believes in marital commitment before children. But Eva doesn’t support the institution of marriage. She’s very outspoken about it. She [sic] considering caving and actually proposing to Ryan on their one-year anniversary in September.”

Here's where we know this is all a crock of shit. Ryan Gosling would never let a woman propose to him. Yes, he's the face of the Feminist Ryan Gosling meme, and at first glance it may seem that the most feminist thing to do is to go all nonconventional and let her put a ring on it. But above his feminist duties, Ryan is also the collective consciousness' Dream Guy. And call us lame and passive ladies, but we can't live through Ryan's celebrity romances if he doesn't get to propose when he's good and ready. Eva can't just force it on him! She's gotta give him space to come up with the perfect sweet, sexy, and, yes, feminist proposal.

But again, this is a moot point. Because it's a fake story. So, let's move on with our day.

Photo: PacificCoastNews.com