Entertainment

Meet W.A.R.G: The Women Against Ryan Gosling

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Celebrity science states that with incredible fame and endless memes, comes backlash, hatred and misunderstanding. Despite appearing superhuman in every possible way, Ryan Gosling is not immune to these scientific laws. He puts his pants on one leg at time, just like us. (I saw a photo of him doing it in Us Weekly, so it must be true.)

While the rest of the world spent yesterday stalking Ryan Gosling and jumping in front of cabs in hopes he would save them, the Women Against Ryan Gosling (W.A.R.G) spoke up and made a statement. Actually they made several statements in an extremely enlightening article in death + taxes.

Ned Hepburn of death + taxes set out to find W.A.R.G by posting an ad on Craigslist yesterday at 11:23 a.m.

Within hours he had responses from women who felt very strongly about disliking Ryan Gosling. So strongly they searched Craigslist everyday for ads just like this (so I assume).

They dislike him for his likes as W.A.R.G member Katie pointed out:

Specifically, I do not like his face. He looks manufactured. His eyes are too close together, his face is too smooth, his cheeks are too flat, his hair is too neatly coifed. Even his beard looks like it’s bored. He looks like a Hitler-youth love child of Haley Joel Osment and Chuck Norris. Also, his voice sounds contrived. It’s as though he’s trying his best to do an imitation of someone who is laid-back and fun.

And they dislike him because everyone else likes him middle-school-boy-band style:

Why does every woman seem to have a hard-on for Ryan Gosling? I feel like it’s 8th grade all over again and I’ve somehow missed the celebrity attractiveness memo that instructs me to be attracted to one, if not all, of the Backstreet Boys.

And most interestingly they dislike him because not liking him leads to bullying. Yes. Not liking Ryan Gosling leads to bullying. Why this was left out of the documentary Bully, I'll never know.

I’ve been subjected to countless gasps of disbelief and then a herculean effort to convert me, like I said I dislike all good and joy in the world. If only you’ll watch “The Notebook,” they say; if only you’ll read this “hey girl,” thing. Oh, and did you know Ryan Gosling is working on a cure for cancer? In fact, a large part of the reason I dislike him so virulently is because of the bullying to which I’m subjected when I say I just don’t care for him. What started as indifference has turned to hate in the face of the bullying I’ve received.

There you have it. The voices from the most controversial group in America have spoken out. Will America listen? Will Ryan Gosling care? Who will be the first to create a Hey Girl, I Still Love You Even Though You're A W.A.R.G meme?

I don't know the answer to these questions. I just know that this anti-fan fan group will shake the core of the Internet. Let the Ryan Gosling backlash begin.

You can specifically let it begin by reading more of the W.A.R.G craiglist responses right here.