Robert Pattinson Has Been Dating For Over A Month, Weirdly Still Hasn’t Proposed

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Robert Pattinson on movie set August 2013Just when I thought I was getting a handle on the likes and dislikes of young Hollywood, they go and throw me for a loop again. I thought the new trend was to say I love you after one date and to get engaged after three months, even if that time frame suspiciously overlaps with the eleven days during which you 'stepped out' with a particular Man Of Steel star, COUGH COUGH KALEY CUOCO COUGH COUGH, but apparently I was wrong about all that. And it's Robert Pattinson who made me that way.

According to People, Rob has been dating someone for MULTIPLE MONTHS and he still hasn't proposed. And not only that, he hasn't even dropped any l-bombs that I'm aware of. Which I totally would have heard about, because this girl has 'quite the Hollywood pedigree'. Silly you, I bet you thought that only show dogs and racehorses and boy kings could have pedigrees, but that's all the more embarrassing for you, because the children of celebrities can have them, too.

This one is Dylan Penn, the twenty-two year old model daughter of actors Sean Penn and Robin Wright, and she is expected to win the Preakness next derby season in the yearling class. According to a source close to the couple:

"They've been dating a month or two. He's crazy about her."

CRAZY about her. CRAZY. Why wasn't I informed of this development? It's been a mere four months since he and Kristen Stewart broke up, and he's already moving on to another glossy-coated pedigree puppy to prance around at the Westminster Dog Show? Where's the dignity in that? You could at least propose to her to lessen the blow, ROBERT. Otherwise we're no better than the animals.

(Image: Cousart  /JFXimages / WENN.com)