Robert Pattinson Doesn’t Get Roles Because He Doesn’t Have Talent A Six Pack

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Robert Pattinson at German premiere of Cosmopolis May 2012Oh Robert Pattinson, you sweet sweet treasure. Aren't you just the most precious thing ever, opening your mouth and making silly words come out of it? It's adorable that you think you're missing out on parts because you don't crush it out at the gym on a regular basis and not because of a suspicious lack of talent at doing anything besides brooding and sparkling in the sun.

In a recent interview with the Arabian version of Harper's Bazaar (sorry, let me say that again — the Arabian version of Harper's Bazaar), R-Pattz reveals the real reason behind the fact that he's not rolling in parts:

“I think I don’t get some jobs because I don’t go to the gym. I am literally the only actor in LA who doesn’t have a six-pack. Although I am going to have to change that.”

You sure, buddy? You sure you're not getting roles because you had to have your abs painted onto your shirtless body in Twilight and not because you started openly badmouthing the franchise that made you an international star immediately after wrapping on said franchise?

You don't think alienating your colleagues alike by criticising a project you worked on together has anything to do with it? Or mocking Twihards for being dumb enough to be fans? Of you? You don't think that might figure into some casting decisions? Okay, buddy. I'm sure you're right — this is all six-pack based, aka it's time for you to pull it together and get yourself to a gymnasium:

“I don’t ever want anyone to see me doing exercise. Even though I am doing it, I still think it’s so lame and embarrassing; I am doing it out of necessity, that’s all.”

Okay, I just…Robert, I'm trying to help you, here. Oh my god, dude. I don't want to say that this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard…but this is definitely the dumbest thing I've ever heard. How can you care about your body and your health so little that you think even being seen as trying is embarrassing and lame? WHO ARE YOU AND WHO BROUGHT YOU HERE, ROBERT PATTINSON? If you care about everything so little, why do you bother even being famous?

There are so many career paths in the world where you never have to talk to reporters, star in vampire movies, get muscles painted on your body, or even step in a gym. GET REAL. I'm so annoyed.

(Image: WENN.com)