Rob Kardashian Has Gained Even More Weight, Which Is Weird Because He’s Traveling With A ‘Personal Trainer’

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Rob Kardashian too fat to take my shirt off GIF(via)

In case you're wondering why I put quotation marks around the phrase ‘personal trainer', it's because I'm not convinced that that's the job of the person who's traveling with Rob Kardashian right now.

Rob had previously admitted to gaining forty pounds after his breakup with Rita Ora, but reports are suggesting that he's put on at least sixty more, which is a shitload regardless, but even more when you consider that this is Kris Jenner‘s son we're talking about. She barely lets her kids sneeze without Instagramming it, so you know she has to be livid over a one hundred pound weight gain.

Which is why it made sense for us to keep hearing reports that Rob has been in daily workouts with his sister Khloe‘s trainer Gunnar Peterson for months now, neck-deep in a Kris Jenner-Style Fat Camp to get him ready for Kim‘s wedding to Kanye West, which is in four days (!!). Doesn't mean it's right to ask your kid to drop seventy pounds in three months, but it at least sounded like something that Kris would insist on.

So imagine our surprise when Rob resurfaced from this supposed gym spree on Sunday, looking the largest we've ever seen him. There are a ton of excuses popping up to explain his appearance, like ‘a thyroid problem', ‘binge-eating', and having to cut down to twice-weekly workouts because of Rob's ‘busy schedule' (I know), but I'm suspicious of all of them. If you've seriously been working out with a personal trainer five days a week and you're putting on weight instead of taking it off, it's time to fire that personal trainer, not bring him to your sister's wedding.

…which is what Rob is doing, according to TMZ. Rob's plus-one Gunnar is literally staying with him all weekend to ‘keep him fit during sister Kim's wedding festivities'. Sorry, what? That's not a thing, right? We can all admit that that's not real? That nobody ever goes into their wedding by warning their planner about a family member by saying:

“Keep him away from the…food. Yeah, the food. Because if there's one thing you get warned against at weddings, it's one of your guests having too much to eat and then embarrassing themselves and everyone involved with a long-winded speech, y'know? Just make sure we have the crudites under lock-and-key and that if he's seeming inclined to do a karaoke rendition of the wedding song, take him aside to do some jumping jacks until the feeling subsides.”

If Rob was seriously committed to losing the weight, he certainly has the resources to do so. The Kardashian-Jenners can afford world-class personal trainers, world-class personal chefs, and world-class plastic surgeons, so if he's putting weight on instead of taking it off in hopes of locating his lost penis, there has to be something else going on. FACT.