No Big Deal, But Rihanna Totes Gave A Fan A Lap Dance Onstage

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Rihanna gives a fan an onstage lapdance during her Atlanta show June 2013Oh, Rihanna. Your antics never fail to confuse me. If you aren't getting inexplicable tattoos over every inch of your body or reuniting with Chris Brown for the fourteenth time, you're mounting actual audience members at your own show and giving them a tasteful lap dance onstage. OH YEAH GUYS, THAT HAPPENED. You know how it is: you're in the front row at your favorite musical act's show, and suddenly you're onstage and said musical act is gyrating on your junk. That's a thing that happens, right?

And like, this was not Rihanna phoning it in. She didn't just bring some contest winner onstage and jiggle around in front of him or something. She was ON this guy. Like professional lap dance status. Fully on top of him, straddling him, grinding her lady parts on his man parts. Everything. She even takes his hand at one point and runs it down her body. Damn girl. Not your first time at the rodeo. Seriously though, watch the video. It's…oddly intense. Like it's almost hard to watch, because she is really doing the damn thing.

Let me tell you what, though, this is a stark juxtaposition to how things go down at a Beyonce show, am I right? Over there, if you even give Bey a gentle slap on the ass, you get cordially invited to leave the concert, whereas at a Rihanna show, you're apparently allowed to run a hand down the performer's belly whilst she grinds up on your jean-clad crotch. This is how mistakes happen, you guys! We're all just humble concert-goers, trying to understand exactly what the line is between “watching a concert” and “totally overstepping one's bounds in a sexual way”, and Rihanna is making it very confusing! I think I'm gonna buy tickets to the next Maroon 5 show and blame Rihanna when my nude sexual ninja leap from the ceiling is not well-received by Adam Levine. I mean, just in case it's not well-received. Even though it obviously will be.