Revenge Definitely Killed Itself In Season Two

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Revenge Definitely Killed Itself In Season Two Emily Revenge gif

Last season I loved Revenge. The plot involved murder, scandal, lies, terrorists and beautiful people who could afford summer homes in the Hamptons. Essentially everything I ever pinned to my dream board as a child. “Look,” I often said to myself as Emily Thorne framed one of her father’s former co-workers for a crime he didn’t commit, “dreams do come true!”

While I had no delusions that Revenge could compete with critically acclaimed shows like Breaking Bad, I enjoyed watching it every single week. In fact, it was one of the few shows that I made an effort to rush home and watch live. I couldn’t bear the thought of falling behind on Emily Thorne’s plan to bring down the Greyson family.

Yes the plot didn’t always make sense and yes I found Jack Porter’s infatuation with an 8-year-old girl he met one summer a little disturbing, but I went with it. For the most part, the show worked. They were writing their own rules (NYC is approximately 5 minutes from the Hamptons), but the rules all made sense in their world. I can handle that.

When last season ended with the discovery that Emily Thorne’s (or should I say Amanda Clarke’s) mother didn’t die as a child like she thought she did, I eagerly awaited the second season.

“Yes,” I fist pumped in the air, “this will be amazing!!!”

Then the second season happened and it sucked. Like I’m clinically depressed with how quickly it got bad. Mostly a drama can through at least two seasons before running out of plot lines and being forced to create inane storylines (see the fact that Seattle Grace experienced every possible natural disaster for an example). But I guess the creators of Revenge gave up a little faster than that.

Where do I begin with the madness?

Revenge Definitely Killed Itself In Season Two Nolan Revenge Joke gif

Perhaps the fact that they brought Emily/Amanda’s mom back and sent her away without any kind of build-up. There’s that. There’s also the fact that I felt nothing for her character and never felt any kind of connection between her, Amanda and/or Emily. I think they maybe could have stretched that plot a little further — possibly made it less about Gordon and more about Emily struggling to reveal her true identity to her long-lost mother.

And speaking of mothers, we have Amanda. Why oh why is there a baby on the show now. Babies are the worst on shows! Especially when they’re delivered after their mother gets daytime-soap-opera pushed off a balcony. What was that? And how did she have NO broken bones? SHE FELL ONTO A MARBLE FLOOR AND WAS SURROUNDED BY BLOOD!! At least give her a finger splint.

So yeah we not only have a baby now, but we’re also getting into incredibly soap-y territory. I’m all for heightened drama, just not when it’s falling off a balcony after a big reveal.

Another thing I’m not for? Any of the drama surrounding the Porter’s bar. They’re great characters for our leads to interact with when it’s necessary — but I just don’t care about them enough for them to get such a huge plot this season. There’s just no need for someone to be working on a revenge plan on them too. Especially when the revengers clearly didn’t attend the ultra-exclusive Revenge Academy.

Also, Jack, try googling people before you make them your business partners. That’s a simple business tip from someone who’s never owned a business. Nolan’s not a computer whiz, he simply turned one on and typed in a few names.

Last but not least, I hate all the business talk this year surrounding Nolcorp and Greyson Global. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON. While Emily certainly snuck around last season, I always felt like we were on the same page. Now I just feel lost in all the talk about stocks, investments and board members.

I don’t like feeling stupid when I’m watching TV — and this season of Revenge makes me feel like an idiot. I’m constantly pausing the show to figure out who knows what, who’s working together and what the hell Greyson Global even does. To be honest, I’m not even sure I understand what Emily’s plan is now.

Oh and I know I said last but not least, but I lied. I hate “the initiative.” It’s stupid and it can’t possibly live up to its reputation. What the hell can it possibly be that it controls so many people around the world.

So in conclusion, I’m over Revenge. Sadly, I’ll probably keep watching it, but I won’t enjoy it. Not unless they get back to the original formula where Emily worked to avenge her father.

(GIFS: Too-Many-Idiots)