6 Burning Questions I Have After Watching The Real Housewives of Orange County

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So, when we last left The Real Housewives of Orange County, everything had pretty much calmed down from the disaster that was yet another dinner party. Tamra Barney was frustrated with her fiance, Eddie Judge, because he still hasn't set a date for their wedding. Vicki Gunvalson was trying to convince her family that she was better off without Don and happy to be with her new beau, Brooks. Heather Dubrow was hosting a radio show. Gretchen Rossi was headed to New York to support her boyfriend, Slade Smiley as his son was in the hospital. Alexis Bellino was still playing victim, and newcomer, Lydia McLauglin was not having any of it. Last week, the women were kind of off doing their own things and that continues this week. I appreciate watching them all go about their business in their separate lives, but come on, get the ladies together! I want fireworks! But I digress, onto the questions!

1. Does Lydia have a clue what she got herself into?

I feel bad for Lydia. She's really young (compared to the other women) and she seems really nice (compared to the other women). Part of me worries that she has absolutely no idea what she is about to get herself into. Sure, it's fun to sign up for a show like this because reality tv is the new things these days, but she loves Jesus and her family and seems like a genuinely nice person. This isn't the place for her. She's so nice right now–these women will only harden her! Or make her go on Xanax, like Alexis. And what is the deal with her mom?! Her mom is on another planet, guys. Apparently she was a big druggie back in the day, which kind of explains a lot about Lydia…

2. How much longer until Heather and Terry Dubrow call it quits?

It seems like these two have it somewhat together. They bicker and argue like any married couple, but for some reason it seems like she's kind of irritated with him all the time. I totally get that editing can make any marriage look like something that it's not, but Terry just can't catch a break with Heather. I would be pretty saddened if they end up splitting up (like every other Real Housewife) because she just had that whole name change party and all that jazz. It'd be a shame to see that all for nothing. Hang in there, Dubrows!

3. Why are all the women SO NICE to waitstaff?

“Thank you.” “Okay, thank you so much.” “Can I have the pinot noir, please? Thank you!” “Ooh, that looks amazing. Thank you!” SO MANY THANK YOUS AND PLEASES. I get it. Be nice to people who are dealing with your food. If you're an asshole, there is a very good chance that they'll spit in it, but when the ladies are out to lunch in this episode, they are laying on the politeness so thick. Do they do it for the cameras? Like, “See America! I'm a nice person!” I don't get it. Why am I complaining about people being nice to other people? Am I really becoming that cynical? Who am I? I guess that's a whole ‘nother issue entirely. Anyway…

4. How should Vicki handle the situation with her son-in-law, Ryan?

Ryan is a pretty intense guy. He's Southern. He's a US Marine. He's a husband and a father. On the other side of the coin, he lives in his mother-in-law's house rent-free! Ryan doesn't like Vicki's skeezeball boyfriend, Brooks. Ryan is pretty much like, “Either you never let that weirdo into this house around my wife and kid or we're peacing out.” He's kind of a dick to Vicki who actually seems to be very gracious in this whole situation. Ryan just kind of swooped in, took her daughter away from her, and then knocked her up! Vicki and her daughter, Brianna were always super close, so it's sad to see that relationship weaken. Should Vicki honor the demands of her family? Or follow her heart (using that term loosely) and be with Brooks?

5. Is Gretchen being selfish?

So it seems that Slade's son is really sick in the hospital–in New York City. As we know, all of these loopy people live in California. Gretchen wants a baby. She's not getting any younger and neither is Slade. Slade's son's sickness isn't making anyone's lives easier, and Gretchen seems to be a bit perturbed by this. She wants to talk about getting pregnant and having children, but she also feels weird because of everything that's going on with Slade's children from a previous relationship. She says she feels selfish for even bringing it up. Is she selfish? Kind of, but not really. Girl's got needs, and it does seem like she's really feeling the pain that Slade is feeling too.

6. Should Vicki stay with Brooks?

Vicki shows up to meet Brooks at some fancy Italian restaurant in a huge fur coat (the one that Brooks bought her, probably!), and Brooks is there to meet her. She says, they still care about each other. They still love each other, but they're just on a break or something. Vicki brings up the question of “what they're doing”. She feels really connected to him, and she even says that she wants him back in her life. She then says, “Are you dating other people?” And he says, “I've seen other people.” This clearly hurts Vicki's feelings a lot. Brooks is bitter over the fact that Vicki chose to have Brianna move in over Brooks. UM HI, GET OVER IT, BROOKS. THAT'S HER DAUGHTER. Brooks is seriously the scum of the earth. He is a slick-talkin' mother fucker who gives me the creeps. I also think he got a spray tan. He is so cold and mean to Vicki. She seems like an emotional basketcase, and Brooks is just like, “Fuck your daughter. You're missing out on ALL THIS.”

No one is missing out on anything, Brooks. You suck.

(Photo: Bravo TV)