5 Times The Cast Of RHONJ Denied Extremely Obvious Things

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5 Times The Cast Of RHONJ Denied Extremely Obvious Things rhonj teresa giudice huh jpg

‘Tis the season for the big ramp-up before the 87-part reunion where everyone on Real Housewives Of New Jersey is making up, breaking up and basically being in denial about everything. This episode sprinkled an extra special dose of denial upon the whole cast of RHONJ…all except for Jacqueline Laurita. Whom, I maintain, has been one of the most sane cast members, holding strong consistently throughout these years. Even when Teresa Giudice throws her massive delusional curveballs of hellfire that insinuate Jacqueline’s the sole reason for Teresa’s family issues. Yah. You’ve been following along, or at least trying to. Since Teresa’s been in denial for several years, particularly when it comes to recent events, I’ve picked out some of my favorite denial moments in the episode.

1. It seems that the retreat and Dr. V actually helped a bit as we catch up with the Gorgas who prepare to have a nice home-cooked(?) dinner at Casa de Giudice. What’s on the menu? A big ol’ plate of denial. Amongst the warm surroundings of things they can’t afford, the Giudices host Sunday dinner for the first time in ooooooh about a year. Melissa takes a joking jab at Teresa and Teresa takes serious jabs back. Teresa’s concept of sarcasm and subtle poking fun is a lost cause anyway. Melissa is in denial that this will last further than one Sunday dinner. Joe Gorga is in denial that Joe Giudice isn’t a pre-historic rhino that will charge at anything. Joe Gorga is in denial that Teresa isn’t talking shit and already planning to make fun of the Sizzle Tans billboard that Joe is doing (cause puhlease, Teresa totes did that like a year ago…and hers was a commercial).

5 Times The Cast Of RHONJ Denied Extremely Obvious Things rhonj caroline manzo mmm hmmm jpg2. Denial is not just a river in Egypt, anymore (come on, you knew it was coming). It’s also a small apartment in Hoboken where Caroline and Albert live sometimes. Caroline is in denial that she moved there because her kids live there also. And that there’s a teensy bit of strife in hers and her roommate husband’s life, post-empty nest realization. Albie is in denial that going into business with Chris is gonna work out horrifically. Albert is in denial that his wife wears the Manzo pants. Lauren however, isn’t in denial — especially about how good she looks. Damn girl, get your Vito!

3. I’m gonna lump Kathy into the denial about Teresa’s new behavior lasting, even though Teresa wouldn’t lump Kathy into anything family related. Poor Rosie Pierri is in denial that the gay bar dating scene is maybe not the best place to meet a same-sex soulmate. She just wants to meet a nice young lady who isn’t bisexual, too young or  a swinger. Sigh. Times are hard out there, girl. But maybe let’s stick to Match.com and not wristband night at the local gay club, huh? Richie is in denial that he’s a lesbian woman trapped in a man’s body. Then again, maybe not. He mentions it quite a bit.

5 Times The Cast Of RHONJ Denied Extremely Obvious Things rhonj rosie pierri looking for love jpg

4. Yah, the denial ship has sailed for ol’ Jacqueline. Blame your family problems on me once, shame on you. Blame me for you family problems, invite/uninvite me to a retreat, talk shit about me on the phone and to anyone that will listen, twice…shame on me. Uh uh. Not this time. Jacqueline is all, umm, remember the last time we fake made up and then you turned around 5 minutes later and was a bitch? Probably not cause the easiest thing to do when you’re a Giudice and you can’t think of a better excuse for your behavior, is just to say “I don’t remember.” Works like a charm. Jacqueline just wants quality family time. Oh also to keep Teresa from talking about her while Caroline and Melissa chirp in Jacqueline’s ear about how Teresa wants to make peace with her post-apocalyptic lake retreat. Mmmm…not so much. But Jacqueline is willing to meet with Teresa, undoubtedly because it was scripted long ago by the producers. However Jacqueline’s affinity for keeping up the drama has faded. Now it’ll be Teresa on Denial Island all by herself while she attempts to invoke a rageful reaction from Jacqueline. “No, really, I’m good on ordering a drink, I won’t be staying long,” she says.

5 Times The Cast Of RHONJ Denied Extremely Obvious Things rhonj tabletop talk teresa jacqueline jpg

5. Well if it’s not the huge denial that Teresa’s  husband is cheating on her or that she’s broke, then it’s definitely her hairline, the possibility of jail time, that Melissa is more successful than her, that Teresa isn’t jealous of Melissa, that she cooks her own meals from her cookbook every night, that colored fur coats are fashionable, that people go to the same gym every day, that Teresa doesn’t hold grudges. The list goes on and on. Of course the biggest example of her denial is that she has nothing to do with her family trauma and isn’t to blame for anything. Noooo, that’s all Jacqueline. Come on now. I guess when you think that the luxury vacation with the luxury sailor-mouthed therapist did all the work for you…bam! Cured, you really don’t need to try anymore. You can be in denial to your heart’s content! Denial piled on denial about you being the source of all the drama and family issues. Hooray! But for good measure, let’s meet up with Jacqueline one more time, under the rouse of burying the hatchet, but really just remind her how it’s all her fault. That’s called progress.