Um you guys! Quvenzhané Wallis had a real live dance-off at the MTV Movie Awards after party last night while you were snoozing snug in your bed. Or, when I was snoozing, anyway. Maybe you were up doing bumps of cocaine off a stripper's bald head, but I was tuckered out from all the badassery on the most recent episode of Game OfThrones. That's what I was up to. But anyway, while you were doing whatever it is you do on a Sunday night, do you know what Quvenzhané was doing? She was being a much cooler ten-year old than you ever were, and challenging a fellow much-cooler-than-you pre-teen to an epic dance-off.
Sadly I'm not even cool enough to be able to tell who's winning, but it's a very spirited contest that I wish I could've been witness to. Her challenger is apparently named Rachel Meiselas, and she's the sister of the person who put it on Reddit, where it was quickly unearthed by the eager internet. Okay, so how come nobody ever challenged me to a dance contest of any kind when I was ten? (Or at any point since.) Is it because I had buck teeth and a bowl cut? Or because I had the gangling limbs of an undersized emu? Or just because I totally and utterly and completely couldn't dance? Was it for one of those reasons? Maybe if my parents had loved me enough to get me a puppy purse…and also the lead role in a movie that would garner me an Oscar nomination, like Beasts Of The Southern Wilddid for Quvenzhané. Maybe definitely that would've helped. Ugh, my parents totes let me down in my childhood. First world problems, am I right?