I Watched The Prisoners Trailer So You Don’t Have To

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prisoners trailer hugh jackman 1Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal have a new film coming out called Prisoners and the trailer was just released. Since, generally, we go into watching trailers without knowing much about the movie, I thought I'd do a little play-by-play of my reactions to the trailer only knowing the stars and the title of the film. I've found by doing this you can learn a lot about precipitation symbolism– you'll see what I mean. It's also helpful if you're one of those people that likes trailers, but hates watching them.

0:07 It's Thanksgiving.

0:12 A family is having dinner with their kids at another family's house and apparently they each have daughters that are the same age.

0:15 Everyone wears really cozy, but 80s looking, sweaters. It might be the 80s.

prisoners trailer sweaters0:18 The Hugh Jackman couple is innocently joking with the other couple about how he sings in the shower. It's too innocent. Oh, now their little girl wants to innocently go play outside with the other couple's little girl.

0:20 Okay, I don't think it's the 80s. They just like sweaters.

0:26 The little girls are being told to wear hats when they go outside to play. It's normal, but too innocent!!!

0:27 The Warner Brothers Logo JUST came up after the girls ran outside. Sh*t is about to go down.

0:33 The little girls are running into the street. That's never a good sign. And a truck's break lights just came on!

0:36 Uh oh. There's older teenage siblings zoned out watching TV in the way that older teenage siblings always do. (Did these couples plan their pregnancies together?) Hugh Jackman wants to know where their sisters are.

prisoners trailer older siblings0:38 Obviously the older teenager siblings don't know because now Hugh Jackman is furiously walking through some light rain looking for them.

0:44 Older Teenage Boy Sibling is now telling Hugh Jackman that “there was this RV and the girls were playing on it and he thought there was someone inside.” Oh really? Way to withhold that information until now.

0:50 Now EVERYONE is running through medium-heavy rain and Terrence Howard (I think?) is screaming “I couldn't find them!”

0:51 Law and Order-sounding “dun-dun” music has started.

0:55 Oh good. There's Jake Gyllenhaal. He's “Detective Logan“, so not the bad guy which is what I was worried was going to happen. (Or is he…?)

1:07 Detective Logan walks up– in extremely heavy rain, I might add– to an RV that has crashed into some bushes behind a gas station 'cause that is for sure one of the creepiest places an RV with your kids could end up.

1:12 They find a guy in the RV that looks like this:

prisoners trailer bad guy jake gyllenhaal1:25 Some crime scene tester guy tested the RV in his RV testing room and says it's clean so they should look in the woods instead.

1:33 Oh snap! The police let the weirdo guy go and Hugh Jackman totally waited until he was walking out of jail, made his way through all the media people, and wrestled him to the ground. “Why'd you do it?!?!”

1:35 All of this has been interspersed with clips of this creepy chalk drawing of a maze that reminds me of Signs.

prisoners trailer chalk drawing1:46 Hugh is really pissed at Jake. “WHY DIDN'T YOU LOOK FOR MY DAUGHTER!?!?!?”

1:47 Meanwhile, Jake is banging unidentified people's heads on tables and up against walls while Hugh Jackman does this:

prisoners trailer hugh jackman snowFurious rain running has become zombie-like angry snow walking. I've learned that if you want to find symbolism in a movie, a detailed run through of the trailer really helps.

1:52 Hugh Jackman totally just walked up behind the “bad guy”, who I realized is Paul Dano, and pulled a gun on him. Just outside on the street. It's nighttime, but still.

1:56 And THEN he totally went on to hold the guy hostage in his bathroom!

2:00 Terrence Howard (I'm more sure it's him now) is like, “What the f, bro?” Really, through a shaky voice he asks how Hugh Jackman could do this and Hugh tells him “I'm gonna make him talk.”

2:08 Terrence's wife/actress-who's-name-I-can't-think-of-for-the-life-of-me-and-am-totally-gonna-kick-myself-over-when-I-find-out is like, “I'm not gonna help kill him, but let him do what he needs to do.” For real? I would be like, “Get me the hell out of here!” But I'm not a mom so maybe I don't understand…

2:13 Hugh freaks out and screams again “WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER?!” He asks a lot of questions.

2:15 A really intense chalk drawing mirrors his passion:

prisoners trailer chalk drawing 22:17 And then the movies title appears on the chalk drawing!

2:23 Ah! It was Viola Davis. Duh! Ps. Like everyone in this movie is an Academy Award nominee. (And one winner, Melissa Leo.)

prisoners trailer creditsSo that was that. A classic case of the detective that doesn't do enough that fuels the upset father to go rogue. It seems classic at least. Some of the YouTube commenters, who are always just the smartest most detail oriented people on earth, noted that they thought the trailer gave away too much. I dunno. I mean, we still don't know if the kids or alive or dead. Or if Paul Dano is really the bad guy. Or what the hell was up with Jake Gyllenhaal beating up on these other people. And what's up with that chalk drawing? Just for the trailer, or will there be chalk drawing related things going on in Prisoners? I need answers! Sort of. Maybe answers I can wait for when it shows up on TNT someday.