A Baby For Jennifer Aniston & 6 Other Things I Want For Christmas From The Pop Culture Santa
I might be too old to sit on Santa's lap but certainly not too old to ask for presents! This year I've got a list filled with celebrity-related desires that only the Pop Culture Santa could grant. I know we're supposed to be grateful for the things we have (like the royal baby or a One Direction v.The Wanted feud) but if you can't ask for these things during Christmas time, when can you? Christmas is the time for giving. That's why I'm going to give you, Pop Culture Santa, a list of all the things I'd like for you to make happen. And besides, these 7 things would be gifts appreciated by all mankind. So I'm not at all being selfish.
A Baby For Jennifer Aniston (and the rest of America)
A few years ago I wouldn't have put this on my Christmas list. However, now that Jennifer is engaged to Justin Theroux I’m starting to think it’s really possible! Since 2005 A.B (after Brad Pitt) people have speculated over Jen's potential ovary companion. There have been over 1, 273,256 tabloid covers (probably not an exaggeration) proclaiming something to the effect of “FINALLY! A BABY FOR JEN!” Alas, none of them were true. Jennifer’s got a sense of humor about the whole thing but now I’m really getting sick of it and not the morning kind. That’s why this year I’m asking Pop Culture Santa’s for a little Jen or Justin. Get in touch with those masterful little storks and drop off a nugget (or two). Happiness for Jen. Silence for the tabloids.
A Buffy The Vampire Slayer Reunion
On May 20th, 2003 the Hellmouth closed. Buffy saved the day and my little mock-stake was put on a shelf in my bedroom never to be used. Vampires come and go, but “cult classic” doesn’t even begin to describe the show that was the genius of Joss Whedon. What I wouldn't give to hear that lovely “Grr Arg” once again. A reunion on any level—on a TV show, in a movie, even just a hang out like the cast of Full House — would send me into the world’s greatest tizzy. This (along with the 6 other things on this list) is all I want. Please. Pretty please with Angel (or Spike) on top?
Other reunions I’d love to see but probably won’t ever come to fruition: Dawson’s Creek, Popular, and Veronica Mars.
Someone To Write About Taylor Swift
I would proudly proclaim that Taylor Swift dates guys just so she can write about them but unfortunately a fake Hailie Mathers beat me to it. Anyway…I want someone— just once!—to date T-Swizzle for the purpose of writing a song about her. I'm sure that sends me to some sort of hell that I'll never ever ever get out of but it's worth the risk. After Taylor’s “Dear John you broke my heart, wahh” I thought for sure John Mayer would have some kind of rela-song-taliation. Nothing. Utterly disappointing. Can the Pop Culture Santa please get one of her former lovers to pull a Nick Jonas? It would be so kind.
An Entourage Movie
After the series finale last year left us with many burning questions (DID ARI TAKE THE JOB?!?!) thoughts surrounding the release of an Entourage movie have kept me up at night. I have horrible nightmares that E and Sloane break-up. Or worse, Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) isn't in it. I shudder at the thought. The only way to soothe my fears would be a trailer or at the very least word on a release date. I mean, come on. It doesn't take that long to make a movie, right? It's not like it's some laborious project or anything. All I'm saying is, I'd really love to know what's going on with my favorte group of boys. It'd also be nice to see Jeremy Piven‘s face again.
More Music From Justin Timberlake
It’s been over 6 years since Justin Timberlake released FutureSex/LoveSounds. 6!!! That’s like 20 in music years. Sure he’s been featured on other tracks since then but it’s not the same. I need some fresh JT in my life. He's been at this acting thing for a while now, and I I know he’s busy being married to Jessica Biel and all, but seriously where are his priorities? It's not like I'm asking for *NSYNC to get back together. I know that would be asking far too much. A few well sung tunes is not.
I do not love Madonna’s new sound. I don’t even L-U-V it. I know she's an icon and her pact with the dark arts means she's probably never going away (I'm still in denial about her outselling Lady Gaga) but we're each allowed one reach gift, right? Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of her old stuff. Unfortunately her nipple-gate scandal and gun controversies have me questioning her life choices. Hopefully her extremely controversial tour is a sign of the end. Could it be possible that even Madge herself has realized her era is ending and that’s why she’s pulling all the stops? Who knows. What I do know is that her next stop needs to be the last one. This crazy train ride is over, folks.
And perhaps the most desired wish on this list…
Leonardo DiCaprio & Kate Winslet Get Married
Along with anyone else who has eyes, after I saw Titanic I immediately fell in love with the idea of
Jack & Rose Kate Winslet and Leonard Dicaprio being together. There’s something so magical about favorite on-screen romances transforming into the real thing. This would be the ultimate. As Kate thanked Leo at the Golden Globes in 2009 during her acceptance speech for Best Actress and said she’d loved him for 13 years a heart-of-the-ocean shaped tear fell down my cheek and I thought “YES! The truth comes out!”
Unfortunately it was only a brief moment of happiness as she meant it in a platonic I-love-you-like-a-brother sorta way. What an awful play on my emotions. The day I wake up to their engagement announcement is the day I feel whole.
I don't think these seven things are too much to ask for. Do you? What would you ask pop culture Santa for this year?
(Lead Photo: WENN)