Pitch Perfect 3 Is Officially Happening, But What Will The Aca-Plot Be? (Sorry.)
In case you haven't heard the news, Pitch Perfect 3 is officially happening, because as Tina Fey once said, “This is Hollywood, and if it kinda works, they'll just keep doing it 'til everyone hates it.” But seriously, as much as I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Pitch Perfect 2, I'm admittedly terrified that they won't be able to keep up the momentum. But my negativity's not important right now. The fact that the world will be getting more Fat Amy is.
Yes, you read that right. Despite the fact that both Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) and Beca Mitchell (Anna Kendrick) have both graduated from Barden University, they're going to be in a third movie about the same college's a cappella group, because sure, why not, Chloe (Brittany Snow) repeatedly failed one of her classes so she could stay in college for three extra years, why not make everyone else emotionally stunted, too? But I digress, except not at all because literally what could this movie possibly be about? And how do they expect to beat Clay Matthews of the Green Bay Packers shakin' his thang to “Bootylicious”?
But I am not without the ability to suspend judgment, and just because Anna and Rebel are confirmed to to reprise their roles doesn't mean that everyone else will too. PP3 could be a totally different animal, so I'm willing to give it a shot. And besides, it's not coming out until July 21, 2017, so we've got some time to process the announcement. Until then, all there's left to do is speculate as to what the movie could possibly be about and why the producers thought it was a good idea to not feature Skylar Astin heavily in the sequel. That said, here are X things that could happen in the threequel, because yes, that's a real word and this is happening:
1. Beca gets a job at the recording studio near the school
Since she's near Barden, she returns to help the newest (and now only) member of the Bellas, Emily Junk (Hailee Steinfeld) recruit new members and also record their first professional album, Kidz Bop-style.
2. Fat Amy becomes a professor at Barden
I literally have no idea what we could do with this, but it would be amazing, and also perfect considering Bumper (Adam Devine) works Barden campus security.
3. Benji (Ben Platt) and Emily form the only good coed a cappella group
And, under Fat Amy and Beca's tutelage, they take another international cast of characters, because, really, who else is there left to compete against?
4. Beca and Jesse get married
And I weep tears of musical joy while being serenaded by various a cappella groups. Fat Amy would, of course, be Maid of Honor. Oh, don't give me that look–it's the third movie, it's definitely time for a wedding.
5. They're getting the Bellas back together for their five-year reunion
6. They sing at John (John Michael Higgins) and Gail's (Elizabeth Banks) wedding
Guys, I just really want a wedding. And also this would be the best wedding ever.