Pippa Middleton Is Getting Married, Psychics Say Her Butt Will Look Great In The Dress

By  | 

Pippa Middleton and Nico Jackson Sugarplum Dinner London November 2013

Get ready to see Pippa Middletonsister to Kate Middleton and person I've never heard speak — rock another gorgeous white dress at another lovely wedding. And get ready for the butt seen round the world to make another awe-inspiring appearance. This time the wedding will be her very own, because Pippa, 30, is reportedly engaged to marry her banker boyfriend Nico Jackson, 36, whom she's been dating for 15 months.

According to Us Weekly, the proposal happened during the couple's recent trip to five-star Indian resort Oberoi Amarvilas, where they had a view of the Taj Mahal. I guess just because you're the less famous sister of a commoner-turned princess doesn't mean you don't also get fancy proposals. A source says it was “grand and romantic” and went “exactly how he planned it.” There's no word yet on if the source was Prince George in a fake mustache and trench coat, but I'm not ready to rule him out.

There were already engagement rumors swirling back in September that turned out to be false, but I guess British gossipers are sometimes closer to predicting these things than the Americans, based on the number of pregnancies Jennifer Aniston has had.

Since Pippa, like her parents, is an event planner, I think it's safe to say that this wedding will be pretty great, although it's kind of hard to beat a royal wedding. A banker wedding is very nice, and Mr. Jackson looks impossibly dapper in that tux up there, but let's face it. No matter how good Pippa's butt looks in her wedding dress, nothing can beat Kate and William's wedding. True story: I got up at an offensive hour to watch it while nursing a sprained arm from a roller-skating party accident that had happened the night before and had yet to be checked out by a doctor. No, I didn't come up with that story after a drunken game of mad libs.

The couple is apparently planning to spend Boxing Day at the Middleton family estate in Bucklebury, and then they'll vacation in the Alps in the new year. What did I ever do wrong that this isn't my life?

(Photo: WENN.com)