All The Oscar Recipes You Need For Your 2013 Academy Awards Party

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Oscar recipesListen we know each other, you and I, and I haven't been exactly secretive about the fact that I saw a mere two out of seven of the movies nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars this year. It's a lot of money and a lot of time and I have a really busy sleep schedule to adhere to, okay? I don't have time to be the uber-knowledgeable journalist you want…or even the one you deserve right now. It's a dark time in the saga of Alexis knowing things, and I can admit that. I'll do better next year.

But I'll be damned if I'm gonna let a little ignorance keep me away from an Oscar party, am I right? I have an invitation or two up my sleeve from fancy themed parties where I'm supposed to bring food, and you think I'm gonna stay home just because I didn't sit through Les Miserables? NO. No no no. Just because I didn't see the back molars of Amanda Seyfried as the camera slam-zoomed into her mouth while she was singing doesn't mean I don't know how to rock a potluck. I'm a professional. This ain't my first time at the rodeo.

But maybe you're not as confident as I am that this can go off without a hitch. Maybe you're cowering in your bedroom with the blinds down instead of whipping something up and taking it over to your friend Milanie's apartment to watch the show. Which is whyyyy…I've taken the liberty of creating some recipes for you to throw together that will help you fake your way through any party. I've created an Oscar recipe for every single film that's nominated for Best Picture, so throw one in the oven, don your choicest stovepipe hat and fake Lincoln beard, and get on over to Milanie's house. And as long as you're there, why don't you tell her how to spell her goddamn name.

(Images: IMDB)