Burning Question: Did A Koala Give One Direction Chlamydia?

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Get your gyno on standby stat because our favorite baby-faced boys of One Direction might be in need of a crucial STD test. Just days ago the band innocently picked up a koala for an innocent photoshoot to make innocent 12-year-old girls fall even more in love with them when things took a horrifying turn for the worst.

Kat the Koala, known around its Brisbane sanctuary for “hugging” lots of other koalas, peed on Liam Payne and Harry Styles for no reason. Ugh, wild animals. They think they're ready to handle the lights and cameras of fame, but then they go and pee on international superstars. Have they no shame?!

Honestly does this koala, this marsupial, thinks she's going to get an agent after this little incident, she's sadly mistaken. There are thousands of koalas that look just like her, and they can handle taking a photo without urinating.

After Harry and Liam found out that 80% of koalas carry chlamydia and that Kat the Koala had a reputation for hanging out with the 80%, they freaked out for fear that they contracted the STD. While the odds of that are extremely low, we can't help but worry about Harry and Liam's health. As well as Kat the Koala's morals and values. May God help all them.