Modern Family Gets A Nail Polish Collection Named After Them…Finally

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various photofest 230412Can someone tell me why it is that producers or whoever think this is necessary? Joining the storied ranks of Girls and Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Modern Family is the newest show to get their own nail polish line. It's through Nicole by OPI, and pretty much every character has their own color — even the guys. Because that was necessary. Just ask executive director Suzi Weiss-Fischmann:

Modern Family is not only one of the funniest shows on television, it features a great ensemble cast of rich characters that inspired a range of shades, from pastel hues like sea foam green and periwinkle to brighter colors of cobalt and red-violet.”

But why settle for just a teaser of the colors when you can look at them all for yourself and read their strange, punny names:

Modern Family OPI Nicole nail polish colors

Am I Making Myself Claire?
Make no mistake…I’m liking this lilac.

I Do De-Claire!
Let me just say how frosty cool this soft rose is!

She’s Lily Something
Pink, sparkly stars…so Daddies’ Little Girl-y!

A Like-Haley Story…
Typical teenagers (and their moms!) will love this not-so-typical fuchsia.

My Jay or the Highway!
This trendy taupe is inflexibly cool.  Period.

Stand by Your Manny
Be loyal to this periwinkle blue.

Alex by the Books
Look smart in this seafoam green.

Haley Good Lookin’…
She’s cookin’ up plans for this pink super-glitter.

Basking in Gloria
This red-violet is the color of passion.

Luke of the Draw
Chances are you’ll love this gunmetal glitter.

A Phil’s Paradise
No fooling…this pewter is the real deal.

Candid Cameron
Call this teal just like you see it…gorgeous!

Back in My Gloria Days…
This voluptuous violet has still got it goin’ on!

What’s the Mitch-uation?
This cobalt blue demands an update.

How many colors are there in the world, is my question. How can there still be more colors of nail polish for us to name after fictional people who don't even wear nail polish? How is this a thing that keeps happening? Who is making money off of this nonsense, and how much? Not to be cocky, but I can think of better names than these. And if we're really going whole hog (or dog), then why isn't Stella in there? She may be just a dog, but she's also adorable, and by god, she deserves the same nonsensical products named after her as the rest of the cast! I won't stop until every dog on ever show has a nail polish color named after him or her! Nonsense causes unite!

(Image: WENN)