Miranda Lambert Followed Gwen Stefani on Twitter, Needs a Lesson in Cyber Stalking
Miranda Lambert followed Gwen Stefani, aka her ex-husband Blake Shelton's new girlfriend, on Twitter. No, for real. She totally did. There's NO DOUBT about it. Just look at her Twitter account. Gwen Stefani is the most recent name under “following.” I think I speak for a lot of people when I say, WHAT ARE YOU DOING MIRANDA LAMBERT?
According to JustJared, the follow reportedly took place on Christmas Eve, so I wouldn't be surprised if a bottle of wine and a viewing of Love Actually was involved in the decision. But really, I hope someone got her some cyber stalking lessons for Christmas, because that is not how you're supposed to creep on your ex's new lady, especially when you're a famous person.
Here are the proper steps:
- Make sure you're alone. (Check closets if necessary.)
- Open the person's Twitter/Facebook/Instagram page.
- Spend an hour scrolling.
- Spend three hours worrying that you accidentally clicked “like” on something they posted five months ago.
- Clear browser history.
At no point do you follow them or friend them or leave any sign that you were even thinking about them. Now Miranda has to keep following Gwen Stefani forever because the moment she hits unfollow, the entire world will know, and everyone will assume she clicked follow while accidentally stalking her and is trying to cover it up. Like deleting a racist tweet after it's been screenshotted a dozen times or claiming you were hacked after you didn't get the restweets you wanted.
Unless this is the Twitter equivalent of saying “I'm totally fine” through gritted teeth while holding back tears. There's a new report from Us Weekly that Miranda is dating a musician named Anderson East. Maybe that's true, and following Gwen is just a way of declaring that she's moved on and isn't bitter about anything.
Or she just clicked follow while she was drunk and is now regretting it. You know, either/or.