Based On This Promo, Miley Cyrus Is Handing VMA Hosting Duties Over To Her Tongue

By  | 

Based On This Promo  Miley Cyrus Is Handing VMA Hosting Duties Over To Her Tongue Miley Cyrus VMAs promo August 2015 jpg

By now I’m sure you’ve heard that Miley Cyrus is hosting this year’s MTV Video Music Awards. It makes sense, considering you can’t really mention either Miley Cyrus or the VMAs these days without someone inevitably bringing up the other one. “So Miley Cyrus…” “Oh, remember when she twerked at the VMAs?” “The 2002 VMAs were so….” “What about the 2013 VMAs? Remember when Miley twerked there?” “YES, I REMEMBER! WHAT I DON’T REMEMBER IS WHY I’M FRIENDS WITH YOU!”

In fact, perhaps the only thing that’s as synonymous with Miley as the Video Music Awards (other than weed and foam fingers) is her infamous tongue. She likes to stick it out. A lot. She likes it so much, in fact, that the new promo for her hosting gig, which she shared in an Instagram video last night, consists entirely of her standing in front of the camera presenting her most prized organ to us while wearing what appears to be the cord of a landline telephone on her head. (How much you want to bet in a year’s time kids will see a telephone cord and ask, “Why is that hair accessory attached to that weird plastic thing that doesn’t play games?”)

I’m not lying when I say this entire promo is just Miley sticking her tongue out. As usual, I’m very worried she’s going to pull a muscle in there and end up like one of those dogs whose tongues are always hanging out of their mouths at a wonky angle. I’m also worried Miley is just going to leave the hosting of the VMAs up to her tongue. And I don’t mean in a talking way. I mean I’m genuinely concerned that we’re all going to turn on MTV on August 30 and watch Miley standing on stage in complete silence wagging her tongue every which way while subtitles translate.